NaBloPoMo, etc...

Live your life like it's golden!! ~ Jill Scott

1) I've decided to blow up this picture of our darling, Tuesday, into a 11x14 & post it in my room. She is the epitome of life, love and extreme happiness. She wears flowers in her hair, dances in circles, screams songs @ the top of her voice, claps & spins in happy circles, counts in Spanish, and embraces the pure love that flows through her. When I told my brother of my project, he said he prayed when she was born that she would do great things & bring happiness to others. Mission accomplished.

2) For reasons too stupid to go into, I've lost yet another job. I really loved this one; working @ the church w/disabled young men & women. I miss them so much. I'm two days into new unemployment. Clearly, God thought my time there was enough to serve my purpose. Being one to never overstay their welcome, I accept the change. I can't wait to see what He has for me next.

3) #2 rattled me a little. I instantly blamed myself & began the process of pity-party; I'm not worthy. None of this is true, of course, but the human part of me runs to those places. Hides from God, so to speak, instead of running to Him. I trust Him to lead me through all circumstances. Even though it took me to break out in a round of hives to realize it.

4) I've been really faithful to my card making & sending them out to my 'angels.' How cool is it to send cheer to a total stranger & get a reply of how grateful they are for my words? While it's bringing me cheer, the time I spend keeps me sane.

5) I'm ready to get business cards ordered for Cuppa "T" Photography. I post pictures daily @ Facebook with positive response. I'm now working on an order for a set of 10 note cards! Yes, the person could have very well bought blank note cards @ a store, but I'm glad they chose my creations.

6) I've committed to NaBloPoMo February 2014; subject - "Perspective", complete with daily prompts so I won't stray off the planet. I also read up on how to spread the word about the blog after posting. This is a must, otherwise, if not linked to another blog subject, your posts will sit unnoticed.

Until next time ~ Namaste.

Eventful

In the late 90's, my sister, Sharon, asks me to meet her in San Francisco to be a part of Oprah Winfrey's "Live Your Best Life Tour" for the weekend.

Scream.

I took the Friday off work & flew out that afternoon. It was a whirlwind dream. A guy I could've sworn (& still do) sat next to me & kept telling me he WASN'T David Ducovny (X-Files), but I insisted that he was. He ended up falling asleep on my shoulder. (Umm.. 'scuse me, David?) SanFran is over the top beautiful and over the top expensive. I wasn't ready for the wind or the cool (aka, cold) temps. I didn't pack right.

We stayed @ a beautiful hotel & Sat. morning headed down early to Knob Hill to be w/Opie. Okay... the hills of SanFran - you would have to have feet like a mountain goat. Don't bother doing your hair either, otherwise you WILL look one deranged woman. For all the primping & prancing my sister & I did before we left the hotel, by the time we got inside the building, we looked like we had been beaten. Severely.

The line to get inside was wrapped completely around the building with 2500+ women (& a few men). The wind was crazy, the air was freezing, we had that mountain goat thing going on, yet we all wanted to see Oprah. The rule was 'no cameras. ever.' Well, I wasn't getting that close w/no pictures, so we tried to snap undercover. Just when we were trying to stuff our cameras in our purses, a guard comes up and says, LADIES! I died a little & was ready to plead the 5th. But she says, "would you like to greet Oprah as she gets out of her limo?"

Die.

So we scream & she takes us behind a velvet rope where "Oprah would be approaching.' (Sheesh). Six (yes 6) limos pulled up in a row, and there she was with one of the biggest body guards I've ever known a human to be. I laughed cause he kinda looked like one of my brothers.

 Oprah 'freakin' Winfrey. Right here - this ([ ]) close, in live and living color. Smiling, shaking hands, hugging (if she chose to). I immediately zoomed in on her fab hair and yeah... it's all that. A very 'excited' guy gave her 12-long stemmed roses; she accepted them & rubbed his cheek. I think he collapsed. Suddenly he just went down. Lol. She had on A LOT of makeup outside, but inside on stage - she was elegantly beautiful.

We were very close like 4th/5th row. Oprah was right there ([ ])!!So, starting @ 9:00 a.m., we:

• meditated (of course, I had to peek @ Oprah & see if she was doing it. She was)
• ate breakfast (we ate & socialized - not w/Oprah. We met back up after we ate)
• listened to her very funny, sad, painful, amazing life stories (she's very funny & very down to earth)
• watched her kick off her stilettos & get her pair of "fuzzies" from off stage
• listened to her heartaches & struggles with food
• watched her give away a brand new SUV (the person that won was from Portland, OR)
• watched her give special prizes for those who had traveled the farthest (I thought I was good coming from the midwest, but a mother/daughter team from India took the cake. And the prize
• listened to audiences' questions/comments & Oprah's answers while a mic was passed around
• broke for lunch (on Oprah, but not with Oprah. Lol)
•  accepted her awesome duffle bags full of goodies
• on breaks, laughed, hugged & loved perfect strangers because we were a sisterhood

I took (stole?) the terra cotta pot of roses from our lunch table & dried them when I got home. A good memory, huh? That was back when they didn't make you take your clothes off to fly. By the time I flew back home that Sunday, I felt so high, there were no words. The weather was clear across the whole country, I was miles high in the air, trusting God, I loved my sister even more (if possible) for giving me such a precious gift, and I was ready to live my best life.

While flying home, I filled about 15 pages of the cool journal that was in our gift/duffle bags. I was so charged up from the whole experience. It was a lovely gift in my life that certainly was eventful to say the least :-)

Pictures: Internet

Sunday Scribblings word prompt: Eventful

Grounded

How can I be me when you constantly say
You don't understand how I operate this way

I am the dreamer, with the wonderment of a child. You are the cynic, easily riled

For many years we have been bounded. When neither of us truly well rounded.

The time passes & years have abounded.

But, oh, how my heart longs to be grounded

Pictures: me
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "grounded"

The weather man said that since we are still "in drought", the leaves will change & fall quickly. This makes me sad because I think the trees won't get to show their full glory. Especially if it rains, they'll come down even faster.

So, to that end, I'm trying to catch all the colors that I can. Most trees are still 1/2 green, 1/2 color. The weather we had this year (and lack of winter of 2011/12) really threw everything for a loop.

What are the chances that we could have another winter so pleasant?

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." ~

Albert Camus

Picutres: by me

I want to turn the clock back to when people lived in small villages 

 and took care of each other. ~Pete Seeger

Some years ago, I noticed after I lived on this tiny street that it was odd that all the houses had huge trellised rose bushes. Now this was some 15 years ago and folks have done their own thing, like tearing the rose bushes out. By the time I arrived, there was no bush at my house, but I was bestowed with generates of extremely hearty Morning Glories.

But I thought what a time of friendship that must've been.

What is a friend? I'm picturing neighborly friends who: shared excesses of their veggie gardens; shared extra plant seeds; shared rose bush cuttings, shared morning glory seeds, shared fresh made bread; spent time on each others porches, cried together, laughed together, shared meals together, helped each other, loved each other as neighbors, and took care of each other.

What a time that must've been.

Picture: me (patio Hibiscus. My first. It thrives.)

Carry On Tuesday phrase prompt: 'what is a friend?'

Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.  ~Madeleine L'Engle

I am writing with thoughts of my dear Cassie. I've spoke of her here before - she's terminal with cancer, yet she is the strongest person I know. She has had so many setbacks with her health, yet she still shines through. Her faith in God is unwavering! She is now at another cross road  health wise and admits she battles huge bouts of fear, yet God keeps her steady. She is preparing to participate in another marathon for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. Please take a look at her donation page & hear a little of her story. And if you feel so inclined, please donate a little. It means so much to her, me and all the others battling and/or survived the nasty cancer. 

Peace, love & comfort to all of you. But especially to my Cassie. :-)

Picture by: me. I chose this picture to show no matter where you're planted, you can still always bloom. Just like Cass.

"No!"

Sweet Baby Tuesday - 14 weeks. Pure love! :-)

Early morning yellow roses

Blue sky on the horizon

Beauty in the woods

"I am the sun; you are the moon"

Morning light in the woods

 Hey folks! I'm still here, and feeling very, very overwhelmed right now. I feel all off-kilter with being pulled in so many directions that I feel a little crazy!

As you can see, Tuesday is THRIVING!! I never tire of seeing her sweet face. The plan is for Son & I to fly out some time in July to meet her for the very first time. I'm very excited, however right now I'm so burnt out, I can't even think about it.

Son's track is in full swing so it's taking up a lot of my precious "me time." So much, in fact, that I'm going to have to put the brakes on some of it. I have my Hibiscus tree & NUMEROUS plants & veggies that need to get where they need to be, but no time is there.

It's my turn to say "no" and find my center. I feel behind in:

• tilling & weeding the garden
• planting & watering
• walking
• reading
• making cards
• visiting, and
• BLOGGING

"D also kindly reminded me this morning that if I start taking on too much again, "the panic" will surely return, so here's to putting the hammer down! :-)

The Rest of the Story

My skin feels tight
I feel boxed in
I'm a bloom digging her way through the earth
Growing toward the sunlight and fresh air
and new growth in a new season

My breath feels short
Tight inside my chest
It is fighting to get out
To inhale, then exhale
All the fresh air it's been missing

My thoughts feel trapped
They feel restricted
From conforming to what others
think they should be

But my resolve is strong
It is tired, pissed & it is determined,
To regain that patch of sunshine
Where I will sit & enjoy the company
of myself

And I will live The Rest of the Story...

Pictures by: me ;-}
Sunday Scribblings word prompt: "the rest of the story"

Randoms

Ahh.. the day after the Holiday and I'm feeling very reflective. It could be that the office is closed and I'm home alone and free to think without interruption. It's an unusually beautiful, sunny day for December; I don't know if I want to walk the dogs or for Son & I to go for a walk. When I have down time from the craziness of the work week, I find I try to do everything @ once. Exhale.

• I really need to give more attention my health and weight. It's just stupid that I don't make more effort to attend the gym. The first 2012 goal is to get back on schedule & take advantage of the personal trainer that is available.
• It sounds funny to me that I'll be 49 this June. I still feel so "young." Lol! I think back over different stage of my life and either laugh or shake my head in shame. Youth is truly wasted on the young, isn't it?
  

• Second 2012 goal is to move about the country. I am tired of making excuses why I don't travel. My brother and his wife have been inviting me to their beautiful home in L.A. year after year. Sigh... It's been a such long, long time.
• Third 2012 goal is to re-examine my relationship w/"D". Sometimes I feel comfortable and content, other times I feel like I could scream out loud. But that's in every relationship, isn't it? I often find my soul is crying out for a more fulfilling personal relationship.
• Third 2012 goal is to be more aggressive in taking action in areas of my life that need work. My job, for starters. I would truly love to do work that gives me satisfaction. This one doesn't and hasn't in years. But it pays the bills.
  
• Fourth 2012 goal is to stop wishing for big things to happen and make them happen.
• Fifth 2012 goal is to forge and nurture better my friendships. I'm such a loner that I never think anything about trying to make and keep friendships. But I don't want to be like folks who let these important relationships go, and then up alone & friendless when they really are in need of one. I cannot tell you the last time I've met a friend for lunch or dinner after work.

• The Sixth 2012 goal is to stay on my journey of not drinking alcohol. It's been a year this past July, but I have to admit that I have had a beer here or there. I don't want to return to that part of me.
• The Seventh 2012 goal is to be more faithful to attending church regularly. The feeling of gathering with others is so good for my soul. I don't know why I don't give it more attention.

And that's all the musings I have for now. Thanks for stopping by. See ya back here next time. :-)

Same Ole Story

I read this cool list today that suggested: "go back one year in your blog & see where your head was compared to now." One year ago, I talked about homelessness here. Nothing has changed in this year with me on that matter. It still holds a soft spot in my heart.

I still sneak $ & friendship to Nelson @ the library when I see him, which hasn't been since summer. He always asks if I still have the 'very valuable rock' he gave me. I do. There has always been another guy there, too, that I've never mentioned. He's always reading the newspapers from all over the world. And he always has coffee so I slip the $ & tell him to have his next coffee on me. He always smiles, thanks & blesses me & whispers "miracle, miracle."

Then over the weekend leaving the grocery, I saw an elderly gent w/several bags & a cardboard sign slowly making his way up the boulevard.

Sigh & prayers. So, I guess my head is in the same place as last year on this note. And I'm sure it will still be next year, God willing & the creek don't rise! :-)

Pictures by: me :-}
Lower picture is the side of a building in the Arts District, Downtown

Son + "Fragile X" Syndrome = Love

Happy Monday, folks.

Yesterday, Son & I took a 2-hour photo walk. The sun was out, only a high of 62, but I knew rain was on the horizon so I wanted to make sure the camera got exercise (Lol). Luckily, it was a beautiful, blue sky day. Even though it's nearly November, there is PLENTY of beauty out there to be found.

But first, this picture is 23 years old. It's my favorite picture of all time of Son & I. He was a little over a year old, had been diagnosed with being mentally delayed, (born w/"Fragile X, " or "Bell-Martin Syndrome") and I was still trying to wrap my head around that. Everything I had envisioned changed; I had to slow myself down. Way down. And prepare myself to learn from my new teacher (him).

This is Son today (yesterday, in fact during our walk). He'll be 24 in a couple of weeks. If you had a chance to click on the Fragile X link above, it pretty much describes him. In fact, eye-contact is such a problem for him, that getting him to look directly in the camera is a hit or miss. Thank God for digital cameras where you can erase & have do-overs :-)

But all in all, I am so PROUD to have my perfectly made son. My mother says God gave him to me like this because he knew I'd be able to take care of him. Everyone compliments me on what a kind gentleman he is, he's a hard worker & wants nothing more than to please everyone, and that makes me proud. His neurologist said that even though he's nearly 24, due to delay - he's technically 16/17 year of age mentally.

When I first learned of his delay, I was depressed. I mean DEEPLY PRESSED. I don't think I set myself free until his neuro used the word "retarded." When Son was 13, doctor told me to make long term plans for him due to his "mental retardation." No one had ever used that word pertaining to Son. That very day, I let it go. I took focus of my selfishness & focused on how remarkable Son was/is as a person. I banked on what he COULD do as opposed to what he COULDN'T do. The world opened up & the weight had been lifted. It wasn't till I joined HIS level that I understood. After all, I had the problem with all this - not Son. All he did in this was be born.

I will always appreciate & honor Special Olympics for it is where both he & I blossomed. We found a whole other world of "us" - anyone & everyone was/is accepted. And my lesson was in seeing all types of children with various disabilities and other parents dealing in their own ways, and I felt such a kinship with these people. Son has been involved with Spe.Olympics since he was 9 years old, so we have quite a large "family." Imagine - you watch the same group of guys grow into young men while playing baseball, softball, basketball, now track, weightlifting, etc. Each season of each sport is like a family reunion. We truly are family, thanks to our blessed young men & women.

God is good.

Pictures by: me :-)

Time flies

While I was driving today, it hit me all of a sudden that ..... BAM!!:

I started this blog last year
one year
two months
and
twenty-six days ago

How's that for delayed memory :-)


So, I want to thank all you folks who follow me, and/or who stop by to see what I have to say, or to see my pictures, or whatever brings you here. Thank you for your comments & I hope you will always come back.

When I started this, I was nervous about not sounding like 'the good blogs.' But there are no good or bad blogs. They're an expression of each person. I like to write & I love taking pictures. My gifts to you are my attempts at both.

Blogging is a fine line; I don't want to be the 'whinny, complaining, woe-is-me, waaahhh, I hate my life' blog. But I also don't want to be the 'everything is beautiful/I blow bubbles w/kittens in 'em' blog either. So I thought I'd just go w/the positive, try to be real, & a nice picture never hurt anyone.

So, here's to me and another year of quietly doing my thing in my tiny corner of the planet.

Thanking you, again ~ me :-)

Pictures by: forgetful me

Love Thursday: Social Network

I don't know if I've mentioned this here or not, but I am the proud parent of a 23 year-old autistic young man. This is he and I when he was 13 months old; he had been diagnosed five months earlier. I would've never known to get him checked out, but thanks to my mom (mother of 9), she recognized the signs in him, or the lack of signs; not walking, not curious, not really interested in anything.

It took quite a few years before I finally shed my own selfishness and accepted reality. When I did, the world bloomed. I realized I had a child that God had made perfectly & especially for me, and had entrusted me with the knowledge that I would be able to take care of and raise this special boy. That fact always has gotten me thru the tough days - back then and still today.


My son is quite the handsome, polite, gentleman today. Very kind, laid back, trouble-free & extremely easy to please. He never asks for anything, which makes me want to do even more for him. With him being immersed in every sport (basketball, baseball, track), we are constantly on the go. After nearly 15 years of being the taxi & the responsible mom of an athlete, I have to say a lot of times, I get very tired. And at times, very irritated.

Being a parent of a special-needs person means to some degree, you will always be their social. Special needs vary on different degrees. My son has friends who live in group homes & are totally independent of their parents. Our case is not. My son very well could live elsewhere, but "we" choose to stay together. He's very, very shy, unable to make informed decisions & in no way could or would stand up for himself or speak up for himself, so quite often, I am also his voice.

So, in addition to trying to keep my own life on track, I keep my son's life on track, which takes a lot of balance. As he is a young adult, there are young adult issues to deal with. When your brain feels like it's gonna run outta your ears from exhaustion, you still need to keep your suit of armor on cause it's not just about you, but about another human being who is counting on you.


So, with God watching over us every day, all day, and continuously blessing us with more than we (well, I) deserve, we make a pretty good team. Even though I'm an old-school parent who keeps the boundaries between parent/friendship very clear, he truly is my best friend. He's my walking partner, my confidant, my teacher, my attitude-adjuster, my sun on a cloudy day & we mutually respect each other. With all those gifts, I hardly ever notice being tired! (sometimes... :-))

"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful." -- Annette Funicello

Happy Love Thursday, all!


Pictures by: me :-}

Believe it

Happy Friday, all. Remember my friend, Cassie, that I've spoken of here? The one that was making her way through the battle with cancer?

Well....

She updated everyone yesterday to let them all know that she went to follow-up visit with her doctor and... she is.... now, cancer free!!!!! Reading her words brought such joy to my heart, I almost exploded!! The joy in her words were so strong, they jumped off the screen right into my heart! This is all we have been praying for is for her to heal.

I think back over times @ City of Hope when I truly did not think she would ever see the sun rise the next day. That's how 'close' she was. I told her my dreams/prayers for her was that one day, she would be well, resumed her law practice, have found "ill-patient friendly" housing close to her law firm (easy on the pockets), it would be a beautiful day and she would live close enough to walk down the streets, cane free, with the sun shining on her.

I know God is always at work on us and in us, but I feel like I've never seen Him at work in a person's life like I witnessed with Cass. Maybe it's because she was ill and shared it so deeply with us, along with her very strong faith, that it was so evident that she was going to recover. Any and everything that hindered her recovery was taken care of in ways that could be nothing more than God & his Angels. Powerful stuff!

Her experience taught me, again, that when you ask God for something....

... you better be ready

... cause he WILL give it to you.

And that, my friends, is a good thing! :-)

“There's no disaster that can't become a blessing, and no blessing that can't become a disaster” Richard Bach

Pictures by: me :-) (the beautiful Greek church is near the office)