Hey! It's November Already!!

Hey folks. Yeah... I'm still here. I've been to this blank page more times than I care to count so let me try to catch up.

I can't begin to put into words how fast time is flying. It really messes w/my head some days. Working crazy shifts back and forth; I usually don't know what day it is, nor the date. Everything is a blur.  AARP Mag. says this:

As I get older, time seems to just fly by. Every year seems shorter. Am I normal? 

That's normal. Blame it on how your brain marks time — through novel experiences that create memories. Growing up, you’re learning and changing and making memories. Then, as an adult, you settle down into a routine, which makes the days, weeks, months and even years start to blur. “When those days don’t change, they meld together until something — such as seeing a friend’s grown child you haven’t seen since age 2 — shocks you back into memory mode,” says British psychologist Claudia Hammond, author of Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception. To keep time from flying by, you need to deliberately create new memories, Hammond explains. “Go somewhere different and do new things this weekend. On Monday, when you look back, the weekend will feel as if it were a longer period of time.” 

Got it? ✔

The summer for me truly flew by. I worked straight thru without vacation. I grew lovely flowers, herbs, tomatoes and sunflowers in pots. Things didn't quite work out like I wished, but I'll try again next year, God willing.

Then it seems the Fall came and went so quickly. We didn't even have Indian Summer!!!! This year we had beautiful color, but lots of wind/rain, so the beauty didn't last for long. I caught what I could.

Fall is my most favorite season to shoot for obvious reasons. 😉

Still working @ and loving the store. June made a year, I got raise. 👍 I have quite a few favorite customers, especially the elderly. I love giving them time and attention. #priceless

Mom entered memory care on August 1st. Still emotional about it even though it is for the very, very best. She has adjusted; it's a nice place for her. We've been going through the process of breaking down her home to put on the market. The sibs and I already have established homes, so we didn't have a need for much of mom's stuff. And I mean she had STUFF! An entire house full of her life to be dismantled. I give ALL props to Sisters #1 and 2 for their hard work on this. We would be lost without them.

This makes me think of my own house full of STUFF! If someone had to do the same for me, they would catch the same type of hell we're catching right now! I think my books and craft things would be enuff to make someone want to strike a match. Oy vey ....

... which brings me to this book I picked up the other day from the library. I'm afraid I "keep" too many things for various sentimental reasons. I really need to let go. In gathering things from mom's, I tried to keep it "down" - only taking what I could use around the house but I took a lot of her books, etc. Just because they once belonged to her.

Alzheimer's is a bitch of a disease. It totally robs folks of their lives & memories. I don't know what stage of life mom is trapped in right now, but she's NOT in the present or even the past few years. We don't know what to talk to her about. The most we can do is listen to her talk of times we know nothing of and agree. We "lost" her nearly four years ago. It's hard. But it's life.

"Better Days"

What else?? 🤔

OH! Remember the Arbor Day Tree Photo Contest I mentioned in my LAST POST OF APRIL? (Sheesh...), well... I WON FOURTH PLACE!!! I was on a natural high for sure! I left the gallery, went straight to bar down the street, bought myself a celebratory drink, sat outside on the patio & enjoyed my few moments of fame. I was SO happy! I looked like this: 😀

Otherwise, that about sums up the past few months. Nothing exciting on the horizon; I wish I could change that but... it is what it is. I've been practicing being ' present in the moment' for the past few days; not racing ahead in my thoughts - not looking back, but being right in the moment. It's a hard practice but it's where God said to meet him - right here/right now. It feels strange, yet peaceful.

We are spiritual beings having human experiences.

Peace.

*All photos by Cuppa"T" Photography (aka: me)

Checkin' In

You turn your back for one minute and another month passes. Hello Ms. March!

03/06/18, 6:15 p.m. backyard sunset by: Me

• I'm finding it hard to believe this June will mark ONE YEAR of my being at the store.
• Nothing more in life has been happening here. I haven't been to Italy, Greece, The Coastal Georgia Islands or any place else that's been on my bucket list forever. Often times I wonder if I'll ever get to any of those places.
• I feel like I live a very quiet life which is cool, but at times can be quite maddening. This lovely quote comforts me in some way:

"Solitude" by: Me

• On the reading front: "A Confident Heart" has become another one of my favorites. I love my faith, God and any good reading that makes me feel even more grateful in my gratitude walk
• "The Story of Arthur Truluv", because I love anything Elizabeth Berg writes
• "They Left Us Everything" because I love a good memoir and it kinda reminds me of what my sibs and I will have to face with mom...
• "Happier At Home" because who doesn't want their home to be simple, comfortable and full of love?
• "Living In Full Bloom" because I'm all in for books that share how to live in constant bloom; and
• "Daughters of Men" perhaps because I didn't have a father/daughter relationship in my life and I love reading about Black Women who do/did

On the art front: Paint chip butterflies on canvas board, hot glue on canvas board covered in foil and polished w/black shoe polish, my contribution to Valentine's Day (acrylic paint on canvas board), and "Loretta and Devine" (named after the amazing Loretta Devine), my first time with Orchids. Side note: "Loretta" is THRIVING: ALL the petals have since fallen off "Devine." 😭 Research says don't trip - she's not dead.

"Loretta"

"Devine"

 Until next time - from this quiet life.

Checking In

Come to my Window ~ Melissa Ethridge
(Photo by me)

I'm still being faithful to the 31 days of yoga with Adrienne. I find that when I feel out of sorts, etc., dropping down to the mat really does wonders. I look forward to it; the breathing & stretching into Asanas. Yoga is so not an easy thing. Using your body against your body is better than any weight at any gym. Also, the Yoga Journal Magazine has taken on a whole new meaning. Besides reading about it, I'm BEING about it.

As part of Grandbaby's Cakes Soul Food Movement, (I love her), I'm working on a vision board/ boards. I've been a collage maker for a long time, but never one with any 'direction'. I'm working on one for travel, dreams, and positivity. Manifesting my dreams, speaking them into existence. It took me about a week to figure out what my dreams are.

Picked up a few books at the library:

Pat Conroy's Lowcountry stories always capture me. I've dreamed forever of going there (vision board)

A friend recommended this to me years ago; just now getting around to it.

I'm a nature lover as well!!!

Who doesn't love a good 'rags to riches' story? Especially for a young African American girl.

And finally, who doesn't love a good, sad memoir?

Otherwise, I'm hanging in there. I have an offer to return to First Christian's Day Program for work, but I'm SO not feeling it. My brother says go where my spirit calls. My spirit obviously isn't calling me to it.

Namaste

2015

I've been needing to get stuff out of my head into this space for such a while, that now I can't put words together! It's good to be back in my little piece of the world after being offline since mid-November. To catch up: Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day and Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Now, back to me. Lol.

Things are going along, with or without me. The status of my house is still in the air. I've worried myself over it so long that I've just given it to God. Worrying doesn't fix or add anything to the situation. Actually, I've come to a calming peace about it.

March 23rd was three years that I've been out of work. I won't dwell on that one right now.

Mom is becoming increasingly forgetful, which is good considering she's 82 years. I cannot put into words the way I feel about watching her lose herself. She also seems increasingly sad. I mean she was never a happy person anyway, but now she can't find the joy in anything.

I'm very patient with her though. She may ask the same question 4 times w/in 20 minutes, but it's okay. She's still beautiful and still getting around, so there is much to be thankful for.

I've been reading TONS of books and magazines over these months. I should've made a list to share. I picked up this little cutie; it so fits me :-)

Spring has arrived!! I already see signs of plants returning after a brutal cold winter. It's always amazing how God does everything in His own time. There is a time and season for everything, and He's always right on time. "To everything turn, turn, turn........"

Peace & light.

The August Break/Day 17/Bookshelf

Don't even get me started on books. They've been my closest friends since I was a child. My favorites were The Nancy Drew Series, Little Women & The Five Little Peppers & how they grew - a set my mother gifted me on my 8th birthday.

As you can see, my books aren't arranged in any particular fashion. (These are just 'a few' books in my bedroom - we won't approach downstairs - lol!)

I love books about slavery, love stories, folks trying to find their way, over-coming obstacles, but mostly books about God. They comfort me in such a way that I can't have too many.

Next to my bed, I keep Jesus Calling, the Bible & an assortment of this 'n that. I've been known to jump from book to book.

Treasures, indeed :-)

The August Break

Summer Update, Part IV

I took a chance and entered three photo contests at the branches of the library I frequent. At one branch, my photos were displayed & I only ranked as 'participant.' The next branch, I took SECOND, even though at first they told me I won third. My 'prize' was a stack of new books!!! And lastly, at the next branch, I took third place. I was humbled and honored that folks gave my pictures some love. The librarian said if she saw my work at any local shop, she would definitely buy them. I wanted to ask her why wait? You can buy them right now! Lol.

Wilted...

Let it go...

 Saying hello from the scorching Big OH. The temp. is 100, yet feels like 106. It has never been this hot in HOF (Hall of Fame) town, ever. I would go on and on, but why bother. We all know what it's like to be hot. Lol.

I treated myself to some bubbles @ the Dollar Tree today. So damn hot, it was all I could do to blow a couple, then I was done. Even though I was in the shade. Whew!

"D" got promoted this past week. Big congrats to him. He wants to shine. He is a good manager, yet so military. The Army will always be in him. Even all the way down to his clothes. I'll just say starch is a constant must in the house. His clothes could stand in the corner on their own. Lol.

Treat yourself...

I got 3 books from Amazon for $12 & that was only for shipping! The books literally cost $.01. I truly need a wall of built in book shelves. "Letters to My Daughter", "The Welcome Table", & "Dori Sanders Country Cooking". Firstly, I love Maya Angelou's words so her words of wisdom to the daughter she never had, yet we are all her daughters, is amazing. With both writers; I like hearing stories behind their recipes. D. Sanders wrote 2 other books (Clover & Her Own Place) & works the family roadside peach stand. How cool IS that? She completely rocks.

Touch the water

I happened upon this little lake in the middle of walking trails near work. I couldn't believe how green/blue the water was. Picnic tables were around, but I didn't feel comfortable so isolated so deep in the woods alone. Plus it was hot.

Blessings & cool temps to you.

Surfaced

Happy Days, all. It feels good to sit down here again. I've been having the panic attack issue again after two years, which takes the wind out of my sails. Dr. upped the meds a little & I'm making myself rest more. It feels funny, yet good to go to bed @ 10:00p.m. "D" is strictly on it with making me go to bed & asking me if I took my meds, like he would need to remind me. But I appreciate his concern.

I'm thinking over what probably brought on inner stresses that made me "re-flip" out. I've been running myself ragged. Between working, being Son's basketball taxi, being concerned about 2 ill friends, the office itself isn't stable, staying up late, getting up early, squeezing in too much into too little time & not giving myself any time = flip out.

The doctor asked had I had any recent trauma that would kick things off & I couldn't think of anything more than what I just said above. I think I'm letting Cassie's illness bother more than I let on. She is really the definition of 'live you life to the fullest.' It's not good of me to nearly 'mourn her' and grieve while she's living it up. (lol!) I think it's because she wrote @ her blog that she read some healing books and realized that she's "mourning herself." Mourning the life that she's afraid she won't get to live. But then she bounces back with a funny, crazy story & I feel relieved. Hell, she just got picked to be the game show, "Deal or No Deal!!!"

I need to follow her lead and LIVE, TRUST & LET GO. :-)

I am trying each day to make goals to be more kind to myself. I take on so much guilt. I don't know where that comes from. I was also given the name of a counselor that Doc wants me to see so I'm pretty anxious for that. I've always wanted to talk to someone like this, so I'll keep you posted. I also am contacting the mentor for Son so he can take over driving him to all his events. Track season is approaching & it makes me tired to think of another round of traveling. It's part of Son's "Waiver Rights" - the state pays for services like these so it's time to take part in it.

Otherwise, I am trying to find my "happy space" & carry on. I checked out three really good books from the library that I didn't get to finish. WHY on earth did I think I could focus long enough to read one book right now, let alone three. They were "Sandrine's Letter to Tomorrow" (really good - I was nearly done), "The Girl Who Fell From the Sky" (damn.. really wanted to get into that one), and "The Color of Rain", which was such an inspirational story. It's about 2 couples each experiencing cancer. The peace the ill characters made with their lives gave me comfort about Cass.

BUT... in all my hurry/scurry/stress, I only got to get so far before the library police almost came (Lol!) You can only renew so much, you know. I mean, are you gonna read the damn thing or what? So, I'll pay my big fine. I never mind paying fines @ the library; it's my contribution to keeping them open. Besides, how DARE I check out another book when next to my bed, I have: The Help, Wench, The Darkest Child & several others that I own that haven't been touched. Bad, bad, Tracey :-\

And lastly, I wanna give a shout-out to my beautiful 2-weekold niece, Tuesday Imani. She's growing by leaps & bounds & has made it to 5 lbs, bless her heart. I hear she has quite the appetite. I cannot wait to meet her - possibly this summer? The Coastal Georgia Islands call for me & my camera, but I think Tuesday is calling as well. :-)

Blessings & peace, calm & stillness.

Pictures by: me ('cept 'the red tree" - that's courtesy of Pinterest, & Baby Tuesday; she's courtesy of her parents. Oh, and the Primroses are gifts from my boss :-))

From Karen to Carol

Hey folks! Happy Tuesday.

I found this book @ the library 'side-table book sale'. I loved the cover immediately.


When I opened the inside, this was written:

This was my favorite part of the note. An everyday message for all of us. I wonder how Carol's book ended up @ the donated book sale? Maybe she took what she needed from it & passed it on. Clearly, Carol isn't a book hoarder like me.

Then I got this one, too. 1) It's my son's nickname and I've always liked seeing it in bold, strong print, and 2) I like the premise of the story of a carpenter, whom is very Jesus-like, moving to a small town & freaking everybody out. (Lol!) I have seen this book around forever. I'm glad I bought it.

Lastly, I wanted to share the beauty of one of my treasures. A sweet, angel friend who always encourages me to live, laugh & love, sent me this great journal. What are the odds of her finding these very words? I also have a rubber stamp w/this same phrase. It's a welcome, constant message. Look closely @ the 'real' stitching on the cover. Swoon.

Plus fresh, new, lined pages begging for attention. I Love. It.

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”