September Song

 

The "Harvest"

Well, here we are in the last week of September. I can't even express about time flying. It's an old cliche that holds endless truth. In this neck of my woods, we had a drought that seemed endless. I loved the blue skies/sunshine/tolerable temps, but I sure missed the rain and a good overcast day. My newly planted grass (again) went straight to hell. Also, hand-watering 'the jungle' of about 30 potted plants, the 'garden on wheels', the flower bed, keeping the bird baths full became ... 😧. But it's all good. I'll miss it when winter comes.

So, the picture of the Harvest produced more than I thought. It was just something to try since I don't have any place to do an inground garden. SURPRISE!!! It gave just enough for me. I even got a few green peppers. It was fun eating the sun-kissed 'matoes' straight off the vine with the salt shaker in hand. Lol. Childhood revisited.

Beautiful table by Dollar Tree

Break bread together

"Ladies Luncheon", 09/2025

My two sisters & my niece are keeping monthly lunches @ each other's homes going strong. OMG, how did we not know how much we all needed this in our lives!! It started w/Sister #2 saying (last December), 'why don't you have lunch @ your house for us?' (It was one year since my guys passed away) And from there it's gone full circle with my turn being in December again. Living in the mid-west, we have to make adjustments for what the weather will do since Sis#2 lives an hour away. So this is how the dates usually end; we're full of good food, drinks, music, medicinals, conversation and so much love. (I'm on the far right looking ...... questionable at best. LOL!)

And now I have three

So.... I added two more guitars to my one and I couldn't be happier. The total price of these two came to a whopping EIGHTY-SEVEN DOLLARS!!! The Mandolin was from a Resale shop going out of business, the second from the lady working there that casually mentioned she'd sell me her daughter's brand new guitar (the daughter moved to England & started a band!! Very cool). I was BEYOND excited. The Mandolin is missing two strings, reconstruction would be $$ out the ass, so it's just lovely decoration. It's VERY old. #score 

A Fall Walk

One Sunday morning, I walked the park near my house. There's always something very beautiful there to see. It's Dahlia season here and they did not disappoint. I was also happy to see the 'nature frame' that lives in the gardens year round is still being decorated according the season. God was everywhere! 😇

Otherwise, everything is going okay. I'm abundantly blessed, peaceful and thankful beyond words. In December, it'll be 2 years since my son and partner left earth. The grief for my son will never go away and I still have uncontrollable sobs and sadness at him not being with me, but I know where he is and know that I'll see him again. I remember after he died, then the partner, I went on a weekly binge of totally clearing out the house. I put so much out with the trash that the garbage guy asked if I was moving. Lol. I wanted no trace of the partner ever having been here (which is pure denial since it was over 30+ years), but we were SO unhappy and I put my life so on hold.

I remodeled the bathroom myself and made everything the way I needed to make MYSELF happy. The 'gung-ho-ness' of turning son's room into my craft room fell by the wayside. You can't call it a craft room if you haven't crafted in a few years. The lovely paint is still in the unopened cans, etc. I did manage to patch/spackle two holes but that's it. I haven't even sanded them down. Sometimes I wonder 'where am I mentally/creatively?' Seems the only thing I can accomplish is working everyday.

Lastly, I'm still 'seeing' my guy, if you can call it 'seeing.' We met four years ago when he was a customer @ the store. I was completely stricken with his kindness, looks (yes), he grew up on a farm, drove truck for 50 years and us sharing the same faith. He's a caretaker to his much older wife (which I totally respect) and he's 11 years older than me. I think when we met, my son's health was spiraling and I had NO support from the partner. Not that he (partner) didn't completely love my son (since the age of 2 or 3), but he had no clue on how to support me in my sadness, anxiousness and fear. In fact, he was downright harsh & mean which led me to have to verbally attack him. It drove the already truck-sized wedge between us deeper. In hindsight, he was sick and afraid as well which led to his death by massive heart attack while I was at work 17 days after my son's passing. I just wish we could have shared the kindness I was trying to give. Oh well ...

Then came my guy who was, if nothing else, cognizant of what I was going thru. If for nothing else to let me cry, sob, laugh, listen, console, pray and keep him updated on my son. From the hospital, to the nursing home, back to the hospital and finally to the passing.

We don't see each other often but we talk/text everyday, and this is good enough for me. I love my new space and my own company. He came into my life in the middle of quite a storm. Sometimes I wonder do we really love each other like we say or was I desperate for someone gentle and/or was he curious about a Black woman. We are TOTALLY NOT the same politically and there's things he never knew about my culture that makes me wonder. We never talk politics (I'm not politically correct in any way and avoid talking it like the plague), but we do share our faith. It wasn't coincidence that he walked up to my counter one Sunday, four years ago, after leaving church.

He's a great guy though, but I hope his wife lives forever. 😁

Thanks for reading whoever you are. Happy Autumn!!

Glory In the Humdrum

Fall is here.

Happiness is a tiny waffle maker

Nerve-soothing "Sha-mo-lee" (as a friend calls it. Lol)

Glow on the Mantle, plus one of my girls

The Choleus on the patio continues to grow huge in the Fall air

Throws are mandatory ('always happy/everything happy')

On the line/in the wind. No better smell, ever.

Breakfast, courtesy of the tiny waffle maker 😋

Besides twinkle lights, tea candles are my 2nd love

"A Perfect Stranger" This is my girl, "Charlie" I met in the park on a photo walk.

I'm in love. She's so beautiful

Just one of the Hibiscus that continues to give me love

"Temu" is like crack. Lol. So many cool things. "Let It Be" is my go-to

I'm a Mum hoarder as opposed to letting die @ the store because  of lack of water 😠

I think everyone should always have posies in a vase for smiling purposes

"Enjoy whatever season you are in. There will be hard seasons, quiet seasons, turbulent seasons. Let God carry you through, ride on the wings of the Eagle. Seek, observe, listen and be grateful to God for all things. In Jesus name I pray, Amen"

In this season, I struggle to find joy. I found this prayer and it lifted my heart, reminding me to count my blessing, which are TOO numerous to actually count. Even thru the times when sit alone in the quiet, nap to escape, neglect self-care, I still need to fight the fog to find joy. The pictures above, alone, are just small reminders of how good life really is. And I am thankful. 

Hey! It's November Already!!

Hey folks. Yeah... I'm still here. I've been to this blank page more times than I care to count so let me try to catch up.

I can't begin to put into words how fast time is flying. It really messes w/my head some days. Working crazy shifts back and forth; I usually don't know what day it is, nor the date. Everything is a blur.  AARP Mag. says this:

As I get older, time seems to just fly by. Every year seems shorter. Am I normal? 

That's normal. Blame it on how your brain marks time — through novel experiences that create memories. Growing up, you’re learning and changing and making memories. Then, as an adult, you settle down into a routine, which makes the days, weeks, months and even years start to blur. “When those days don’t change, they meld together until something — such as seeing a friend’s grown child you haven’t seen since age 2 — shocks you back into memory mode,” says British psychologist Claudia Hammond, author of Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception. To keep time from flying by, you need to deliberately create new memories, Hammond explains. “Go somewhere different and do new things this weekend. On Monday, when you look back, the weekend will feel as if it were a longer period of time.” 

Got it? ✔

The summer for me truly flew by. I worked straight thru without vacation. I grew lovely flowers, herbs, tomatoes and sunflowers in pots. Things didn't quite work out like I wished, but I'll try again next year, God willing.

Then it seems the Fall came and went so quickly. We didn't even have Indian Summer!!!! This year we had beautiful color, but lots of wind/rain, so the beauty didn't last for long. I caught what I could.

Fall is my most favorite season to shoot for obvious reasons. 😉

Still working @ and loving the store. June made a year, I got raise. 👍 I have quite a few favorite customers, especially the elderly. I love giving them time and attention. #priceless

Mom entered memory care on August 1st. Still emotional about it even though it is for the very, very best. She has adjusted; it's a nice place for her. We've been going through the process of breaking down her home to put on the market. The sibs and I already have established homes, so we didn't have a need for much of mom's stuff. And I mean she had STUFF! An entire house full of her life to be dismantled. I give ALL props to Sisters #1 and 2 for their hard work on this. We would be lost without them.

This makes me think of my own house full of STUFF! If someone had to do the same for me, they would catch the same type of hell we're catching right now! I think my books and craft things would be enuff to make someone want to strike a match. Oy vey ....

... which brings me to this book I picked up the other day from the library. I'm afraid I "keep" too many things for various sentimental reasons. I really need to let go. In gathering things from mom's, I tried to keep it "down" - only taking what I could use around the house but I took a lot of her books, etc. Just because they once belonged to her.

Alzheimer's is a bitch of a disease. It totally robs folks of their lives & memories. I don't know what stage of life mom is trapped in right now, but she's NOT in the present or even the past few years. We don't know what to talk to her about. The most we can do is listen to her talk of times we know nothing of and agree. We "lost" her nearly four years ago. It's hard. But it's life.

"Better Days"

What else?? 🤔

OH! Remember the Arbor Day Tree Photo Contest I mentioned in my LAST POST OF APRIL? (Sheesh...), well... I WON FOURTH PLACE!!! I was on a natural high for sure! I left the gallery, went straight to bar down the street, bought myself a celebratory drink, sat outside on the patio & enjoyed my few moments of fame. I was SO happy! I looked like this: 😀

Otherwise, that about sums up the past few months. Nothing exciting on the horizon; I wish I could change that but... it is what it is. I've been practicing being ' present in the moment' for the past few days; not racing ahead in my thoughts - not looking back, but being right in the moment. It's a hard practice but it's where God said to meet him - right here/right now. It feels strange, yet peaceful.

We are spiritual beings having human experiences.

Peace.

*All photos by Cuppa"T" Photography (aka: me)

November??? Seriously???

I didn't realize I had not posted one damn thing since September here. Where have I been? Where was I the entire month of October?

I've been right here. I've come to this blank page many times but the words got jumbled in my head so I left. And left. And kept leaving.

1990

2017

• In two days, my son will be 30 years old! A co-worker told me he didn't think I was more than 35 years (I'll pay him off later) His growth into a beautiful, gentle, humble man who happens to have Autism is just a testament that time goes on; whether you know what you're doing or not. I still to this very moment am not sure in my parenting skills, but here we are.

• It's been six months since I've been @ the store and I still love it. Of course you run into folks who are miserable in their lives and want to spread the misery, but I repel that shit like roach spray. I recommend everyone do the same.

• The sibs and I are still keeping a close watch on mom. You never know what will go on from one day to the next w/her dementia. I discovered B-12 deficiency can be a major factor in easing/slowing the effect of "D". I vaguely remember mom's doctor telling us that and recommending shots to which she said 'to hell with THAT!' So .... here we are: nowhere.

• Summer is done and shut down. I have a few plants left that are fighting the good fight w/this 40degree weather. I'll let them go until the frost obliterates them because as long as they still have color & act like they want to live, I say let 'em live.I found that the ones that lasts are the ones I planted from seed. #natural #nature

Nasturtium

Zinnias

• The clocks fall back this Saturday/Sunday morning. Booo.... only because it will get dark @ "early o'thirty." That feeling that always makes you feel like you should have on your pajamas & refuse to go back outside, even though its only 5:27 p.m. Uggh...

Me.

• Otherwise, my life is still what it is. I haven't traveled anywhere, done anything exciting or written any novels worthy of Oprah's Book Club List. 😋😆 I still watch YouTube vids. for practicing the guitar (so relaxing), still 'dabble' in trying to stay creative & staying humble. I guess for now, this is my place in this life.

Namaste.

Face Stencils by me, titled "Mother & Daugher"

Plant Sanity

Hey folks,

If you know me at all, you know I have a heavy flower love.

I often wish I lived in a warmer client so my flower season would last year round (I see  you, Cali)

But I adore the season change of the Midwest.

By: Me 📷

In the meanwhile, these "Zone 5" babies have been giving me life. 

The 1st 3 were grown from seed packs, The others, saved from the dead clearance rack. Much needed water and a new pot and they came alive. So many are wasted! Boooooo......😠