Mood

I've taken to not turning on TV when I come home. I let this soak in for a couple of hours before letting in 'the noise.'  And more times that not, I end up canceling the noise.

Something I haven't done for a very long time. 

Lavender Rose (love!!!!)

This New Year

 Happy New Year!!!!! It sounds funny to say "2024", but we'll get used to it just like the years prior to this one. There has been no truer statement than "time flies." I wish everyone peace, good health and good .... everything.

But on the other hand, should you have adversity in life (and you WILL), I wish you the strength and faith to stay patient and let God work it out beside you/with you/for you. In HIS time. Not yours (ours).

Photo Credit: Alicia Rose Temple

Going into the new year of living alone is interesting at best. I love my peace but I must keep productive. It's easy to fall into TV/social media land, but I like to keep moving. I've made changes to things I've been wanting to do - things that I don't have to hear any feedback about. Things that have needed to 'go' for years but stayed because of resistance from the Sig. Other. So liberating. 👍

Today is the first day the doctors actually said the words "BRAIN. DEAD" re: the Sig. Other. If I haven't said this before, I believe he was gone on the 23rd when his heart failed him but 'protocols' needed to be followed. I feel sad that he is being kept in this 'limbo' state as his children fumble their ways thru what to do. He would be LIVID if he knew he was being kept alive. It was something he said over the years on the regular. Hopefully, he will be peacefully released soon. It's been WAY too long, in my opinion. 😔

I knew my son was leaving earth, but I never dreamed I would lose both him & the Sig. Other in the same month, 20 days apart. It's still extremely surreal. But still I rise. (Maya Angelou)

So ... on those notes, I'm still stumbling around in a semi-very functional fog. Work keeps me on my toes, which I love. It's a challenge daily, even after 7 years. But good. I meet A. LOT. of nice folks. Yep - they're still out there 😊 My mornings and evenings are very quiet. I talk and/or read out loud to myself a lot. My routine so far consists of: leaving work, getting home, ginger tea, Bible study, nap (easily for at least FOUR hours), piddle around w/chores til' I need to get to bed for the next early day. It's what I need for right now.

Until next time.

Checkin' In

You turn your back for one minute and another month passes. Hello Ms. March!

03/06/18, 6:15 p.m. backyard sunset by: Me

• I'm finding it hard to believe this June will mark ONE YEAR of my being at the store.
• Nothing more in life has been happening here. I haven't been to Italy, Greece, The Coastal Georgia Islands or any place else that's been on my bucket list forever. Often times I wonder if I'll ever get to any of those places.
• I feel like I live a very quiet life which is cool, but at times can be quite maddening. This lovely quote comforts me in some way:

"Solitude" by: Me

• On the reading front: "A Confident Heart" has become another one of my favorites. I love my faith, God and any good reading that makes me feel even more grateful in my gratitude walk
• "The Story of Arthur Truluv", because I love anything Elizabeth Berg writes
• "They Left Us Everything" because I love a good memoir and it kinda reminds me of what my sibs and I will have to face with mom...
• "Happier At Home" because who doesn't want their home to be simple, comfortable and full of love?
• "Living In Full Bloom" because I'm all in for books that share how to live in constant bloom; and
• "Daughters of Men" perhaps because I didn't have a father/daughter relationship in my life and I love reading about Black Women who do/did

On the art front: Paint chip butterflies on canvas board, hot glue on canvas board covered in foil and polished w/black shoe polish, my contribution to Valentine's Day (acrylic paint on canvas board), and "Loretta and Devine" (named after the amazing Loretta Devine), my first time with Orchids. Side note: "Loretta" is THRIVING: ALL the petals have since fallen off "Devine." 😭 Research says don't trip - she's not dead.

"Loretta"

"Devine"

 Until next time - from this quiet life.

Who are You When You're Alone?

I liked this shorty from one my of faves @ "Medium", Dan Pedersen.

I marinated in this while I piddled around on this day off. I was home alone, silent and with my own thoughts. One of my most favorite places to be.

"That is the real you. Unshackled from the opinions of others or the need to dominate others for your security."

I came to the conclusion that I am the same 'me' alone that I am when I'm with others. I never feel a need to 'dominate', nor do I care of others' opinions. I don't think I 'am better' than anyone @ my job. Well all do things differently, but I would hope no one looks at me as having an ego.

I basically am who I am. 24/7.

The only thing I believe I'm guilty of when I'm alone is maybe being somewhat harsh on myself. Sometimes my thoughts lean to be critical of my flaws.

But since I'm alone, I've learned to ride the waves of whatever comes up in my head. Instead of trying to deny it, I let it be, then try to put it back where it came from or get rid of it altogether.

When I'm alone, I am:

• Quiet
• Thoughtful
• Mindful
• Meditative
• Angry
• Disappointed
• Lonely
• Thankful
• Artistic
• Creative
• Sad (sometimes)
• Heart Sick

And after I've had time to mull over those feelings, something will usually bring back to 'real life', being in the moment, then I move on.

It's only being human. And comfortable in my skin.

This is Who I Am When I Am Alone.

By: Me

Who Are You? 👀👀

Namaste.

In the Fog of things

My Photo

I'm in a really weird 'holding' pattern. That time after the Holidays, the beginning of the New Year. And I don't know what the hell to do with myself.

I am not comfortable.

Nor motivated.

It is what it is.

The August Break/Day 7

Day Seven word prompt: "Today is..."

So far, today is peaceful @ the lake. One of my most favorite early morning spots on earth.

The August Break 2014

Silence

I am at my most happy when I explore unknown places and stumble upon ...

"Meal"

I'm an old fashioned chick. I LOVE to cook. I'm not too keen on eating a huge meal, but I love watching others enjoy. I think the detail of marinating, chopping, slicing, dicing, mashing, steaming, frying & making a good presentation of dinner is important. No matter how menial it is, I try to make it look 'pleasing.' Plus, it gives me time to sip a cocktail and go inside my own thoughts w/no interruption. Bliss.

Old fashioned cornbread from cornmeal. Cast iron is the best.

Two boxes of Pumpkin bread mix I didn't know existed.

Hand "smashed' potatoes w/garlic, pepper & butter

Steamed Brussel sprouts. I am addicted. Lightly buttered w/parsley

Crunchy skin courtesy of a touch of Balsamic vinegar marinade.

Sunday Scribblings prompt: "meal"
Internet courtesy

Thursday

"Before"

"After"

 How about this little project I saw on Pinterest? I started saving empty jars last year for some reason & finally found this. Spray paint the INSIDE of the jars, let dry & instant vases! The colors I used were 'Sunshine Yellow' and 'Ballet Slipper."  Of course I can see all the flaws, but for the most part, I think they're cute. :-)

I've still not found a job, but then again, I haven't been looking that hard. I am truly enjoying this 'leisure time' and actually have no desire to punch a time clock. But I know this can't go on forever. I'm really trying to figure out what I want to do, but I draw blank. After so many years of 'working to pay the bills', what I really want escapes me.

I've also found that I am enjoying spending all this time alone. I don't mean to anti-social, but my own company seems to be all I can handle right now. Yes, I know it's been three weeks of solitude, but for some reason, I feel peaceful. I really do need to get in touch w/family & spend time with them.

But for right now...

Sunday

Being thankful for quiet days....

"When I give you no special guidance, stay where you are. Concentrate on doing your everyday tasks in awareness of My Presence with you.  The Joy of My Presence will shine on you, as you do everything for Me. Thus you invite Me into every aspect of your life.  Through collaboration with Me in all things, you allow My Life to merge with yours. this is the secret not only of joyful living but also of victorious living. I designed you to depend on Me moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Me you can do nothing.

Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening.  Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My Face.  Although this is an invisible transaction, it speaks volumes in spiritual realms.  Moreover, you are richly blessed when you walk trustingly with Me through the routines of your day."

Jesus Calling, April 13th, Colossians 3:23; John 15:5 & Psalm 105:4

This touched me in such a way - I'm always "concerned" about not knowing if I'm "doing what I should be doing." This reading told me that it's okay to not always be "in action", but to be thankful for quiet days. And also to use the "I'm bored" times to turn my attention fully to Jesus. This was right on time. Thank you, Sweet Heavenly Father.

Sunday Community

Sunday

1 Corinthians 13:12 

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Last weekend on beautiful sunny, yet cold day, I decided to take a stroll through the grounds of a local monastery. It was the most quiet, peaceful place I've been in a while. I even had the pleasure of meeting & walking with a nun that had come out for a bit of fresh air. She told me I truly needed to return in the Spring when the grounds are in full bloom, but I found lovely as it was. In their very large garden where they grow their own food (love that!), there was a large mirror. I could envision how it would look in the summer surrounded by the flowers structures that are bare boned right now.

And returning in the Spring is very much in order. And in the summer as well.

Wishing you all a peaceful, blessed, grateful Sunday! :-)

The Sunday Community

Sunday

And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. ~ Mark 1:35

Morning is my most favorite time of the day, especially while the rest of the city sleeps. As I start my day, light beings to come through the blinds treating me to a wonderful gift from God. :-)

Picture: me
The Sunday Community

Silence

Hello friend,

I knew I'd meet you here. All I had to do was walk about & listen for you.

Let's sit in the sun for a while and chat. All is well here, and you?

Isn't it amazing how when we need each other, we know right where the other is?

I have a feeling you enjoy my company as much as I enjoy yours.

By the way, my name is Tracey. I'm sorry I didn't catch yours?

Welcome my friend. Very nice to meet you, Silence.

:-)

Sunday Scribblings word prompt: "silence"
Picture: me

Wandering

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe.  ~ Anatole France

Sunday

Galatians 5:22  ~ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, & faithfulness.

The Sunday Community

Feeling kinda Sepia...

Wide, open spaces

"unfinished business" this has been sitting for @ least 5 years.

daily traveled road

the bottom of an up-rooted tree. new life has taken over

cat 'o nines shinning in the sun

a surprising double treat

What a beautiful day today. No humidity, just big fluffy clouds, royal blue skies & perfect 70+ degrees. I pulled over on the way back from lunch; there were a few things I'd had my eye on. It adjusted my mood, soul and attitude by leaps and bounds.

Pictures: me :-D
Today's Lesson: always take time to do this.

 Prayers to those who are still dealing with the effects of Hurricane Issac. We finally got a slight touch him starting last night & ending this morning. It was so nice to wake up & roll back over to the sound of heavy rain @ 7:00 a.m. Once again, I realized how the rain, with all its power, yet all it's gentleness, can also soothe.

Pictures by: me
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "soothe." 

Caladium holding up under pressure

"Chocolate/Mint" Choeleus"

Choleus

Gerbera Daisies. While waiting on blooms, the leaves are great on their own.