Sign Me Up

 

Ceramics Incense Burners Workshop I'm signed up for; Local Historical Theater showing for $7.00/per ticket. I'm trying out whatever pops up. Good to be spontaneous w/no feedback. #bliss 

Let me bring you up to date....

"WHERE HAVE YOU  BEEN?" is the questions I usually get from family when I 'go under.'

And you know you've been wondering, too. Don't lie to me.. Hhhaaa!!

(Go Under: when one has finally had enough of everything on her plate and chooses to go silent into ones own head; contacts no one, talks to no one & basically fills time doing photography, or making their 100th mixed media collage, and/or reading 2-3 books at one time, and always meditating on ones relationship with God (or whatever one chooses to call their higher power)

Pretty much nothing changed life-wise until I finally.... found a job. This is THEE job I thought I had been waiting three years to get. Small law-firm, even though I had no desire to go back to 'law', it was the only profession I had worked nearly all of my adult life.

About 1 month into this new venture, I realized... I had no clue what I was doing. It was hard trying to absorb the chaotic world of 'family law.' You know - the laws that had to made to curtail the behavior of lives falling apart. Divorce, dissolution, child custody, GALs (guardian ad litems for the interest of the children of the lives falling apart), jealousy, flat out hate, abuse, stalking....Damn!

I'll spare you the remainder of the train wreck, but after a short four month stint, they let me go.

Don't cry for me, Argentina; I was relieved to be let go. Yes, I felt such a release at not having to deal with that part of folks' lives and all the horrendous paperwork and meticulous steps that come along with it all. I found I would show up in a great mood and by the end of the day, I was emotionally worn out.

Short story shorter, I'm back to what Joyce Meyer calls "The Silent Years." This the time when: you are alone w/you dreams for the future, and it seems as if nothing at all is happening. You are just waiting and trying not to give up! It may even seem that what is happening to you is leading you in an opposite direction than what you had imagined. This is the season when God prepares to use you in greater and greater ways.

.... and I'm good with that.

Luscious

... Along came a spider & sat down beside her

Little things needed homes; $1.00/each

Why trim the willow tree when cute French braids can be made? :-)

Heavy spring rains bring comfort. My favorite park in the distance.

Adding captions to photos. Working on it, but it's a start

After digging in the dirt for hours, it's a nice surprise to see my red toes :-)

This break in time has given me a whole new perspective on "time." I am beautifully at peace. Noticing the little things, taking long walks, being inspired, being in the moment, reading & a set of red toes has been nothing short of luscious.

I am blessed.

Pictures: me
Sunday Scribblings word prompt: "luscious"

"Do You....

 I don't usually get into religious or political things with folks. No religion talks because everyone has their own faith in their own higher power.

I don't talk politics because I am extremely politically incorrect. I don't know enough (or never paid attention enough) to know what was going on, so I steer clear.

... See

 A few days ago, a close friend, who considers himself Islam, sent me a couple of YouTube vids. of a Pastor who mentored him back in the day. The pastor was saying what lies the Bible tells, and the books of the Bible are all stories made up & translated. He said the "King James" version of the Bible was created by a man named James Stuart.

There was another video called "There is no Jesus & he's not coming Back." I didn't bother to watch that one because I couldn't get past the first video.

... what

 I told my friend that this was against everything I had ever learned in my life, and while it was interesting to give a listen, I couldn't agree with it because I know who my Lord & Savior are. The pastor that preaches this & has many videos out there, almost made it sound racially charged.

The things I heard stung me! As my thoughts lingered on them, I had to have some quiet meditation to refocus myself.

I...

...See?"

I KNOW God is my Father. He has gotten me through SO much, and I KNOW Jesus is in my heart and he died on the rugged cross for all of our sins. My faith sustains me; keeps me calm in the storm; God's arms comfort me when I need hugging, love & understanding.

When I was a child, about 9/10 yrs. & took the "big plunge" of asking Jesus to come into my heart forever, my most super favorite Bible School teacher taught me on my five fingers that Jesus said:
1) I
2) shall
3) never
4) leave
5) thee


He never has, and I'll be damned if I start to ever doubt Him.

I'll call this learning lesson: Different strokes for different folks (courtesy of Sly & the Family Stone) Lol.

Pictures taken by: me

Created by: God

Amen :-)

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller

A person's world is only as big as their heart ~ Tanya A. Moore

He loves me not ~ Tracey :-)

Pictures by: me :o)

My joy

Tall, handsome & beautifully autistic

This is my son, James. He is my joy because:

• he sees the goodness in everything
• he sees the bright side of everything
• he is honest (painfully - LOL)
• he only wants to please
• he only wants to be part of the team
• he brings happiness to whoever is around him
• he has a child-like vision of the world
• Matthew 18:3: And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
• he is so going to heaven
• he is most polite
• he is most kind
• he is most gentle
• he is always forgiving
• he is always willing to help
• he is always most happy, and when he's not, you have to really dig to find out why
• he made me really grow up immediately at the age of 24 when he was born
• he changed my world view
• he changed my behavior
• he made me let go of any poor thoughts I had of his father, my ex-husband, even though he has no memory of who his father is
• he keeps me even keeled
• he's accepting, even though he may be dissappointed
• he encourages me to buy him things, only because he never asks for anything. But Skittles
•  he thinks every day is a beautiful day & says so every morning
• when I slip a curse word or 2 (or 12), he tells me "it's inappropriate"
• don't let this serious face fool you - he has a smile as big as the sun
• he is unconditional love

Thanks, God. :-)

Picture by: me

Vacation for one, please

"I may be just a foolish dreamer. But I don't care.
'Cause I know my happiness is waiting out there somewhere.
Somewhere.
I'm searching for that silver lining. Horizons that I've never seen.
Oh I'd like to take just a moment and dream my dream.
Dream my dream.
Zoom.
I'd like to fly far away from here.
Where my mind is fresh and clear.."

Pictures by: me :-)
Lyrics: "Zoom" by the Commodores

The thaw

I felt something changing, way down inside of me.

For all these years, I fought it, so blind, but now I'm old enough to see

how to put down my judging gavel, & let you be you, and me be me






and open up a forgiving heart and finally set you free, to give all the love and happiness that you wish to bestow upon me

Now I don't know where this came from, me feeling this silly way

*But rest assured, it's only cause
it's Valentine's Day!!! (LOL!)

Happy Love Day, All

*Sorry, "D". Maybe one day we'll 'get there."
Disclaimer: I'm personally not a fan of V.Day cause I think it's an unnecessary gouge to the wallet & pressure on the soul. So in keeping w/poking fun, here's a quote from a pretty funny guy, Mo Rocca: “I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine’s Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine’s Day.”


Pictures: by me :-} (how about those icicles outside my office window, huh?)
Roses were a treat to myself; grew the Roma tomato last year in a pot (see the heart?)

25 Randoms & Windows

'

1. special olympic sports never end & they pretty much dominate all of your Saturdays. Every season.
   
2. we have shirts that say "Mom, aka 'Roadie.'" (lol!) cute & true.
3. all in love with my new camera & iPod. they both soothe the savage beast-ette.
4. congratulations to the people in Egypt for their joy.
5. i need a vacation - STAT.
6. i hyperventilate every time i think of my new garden on the empty lot
7. i can't believe i followed thru & actually hand made simple Valentine's Day cards
8. and mailed them out to everyone!
9. it's funny how after temperatures in the teens, 35 degrees almost feels balmy
10. i need to go someplace different to take new pictures of fresh things
11. i would like to see the faces of the folks @ the nursing homes when they get my random cards
12. i'm pissed that PBS & NPR's funds are in jeopardy
13. iPod + podcasts = Happy Tracey
14. my photog friend told me it's best to shoot pix in "raw." it's a good thing.
15. why do i check out more library books than I could ever possibly read in two weeks?
    
16. sending random cards is perfect opportunity to feed my latest 'thing'; rubber stamp designs. Yay!
17. discovery: curly spinach beats flat-leaf, hands down
18. this would be a pretty cool garden, no? seats among the harvest (lol). Swoon
    
19. why is my stylist @ JCPenney suddenly 'booked solid' constantly? Damn!
20. sadness is seeing a book @ Border's for $23
21. happiness is seeing the same book @ the library book sale for $1
    
22. a friend randomly sends me little packages of handmade treasures. its always a perfect end to a day
23. when i held the door for an elderly woman, she told me she liked my smile the best. blessings
24. Ahh.. Thich Nhat Hanh 'gets' my need/craving for spells of silence
25. i love how i'm blessed to be able to see a picture in all things :-)

Pictures by: me :->

The story of my life, thus far is filled with many chapters.


Chapter I: Little Sister/Big Sister/Tom Boy
Chapter II: Little Sister/Big Sister/Prima Donna Teenager
Chapter III: High School Graduate/Think She Knows it All
Chapter IV: Moved to L.A. @ 17; She Knows Nothing
Chapter V: Moved back to Midwest; Still Clueless

Chapter VI: Moved to L.A., again; Is it possible to still be Clueless?
Chapter VII: OMG! She's Getting Married/The Most Clueless Move Ever Made
Chapter VIII: OMG! She's Having a Baby!!
Chapter VIV: Moving Back to the Midwest w/the Baby
Chapter X: OMG! She's A Mother!!

Chapter XI: The Divorce
Chapter XII: The Diagnosis: Your Son is autistic
Chapter XIII: Get Over Yourself & Realize How Blessed You Are
Chapter XIV: OMG! She bought a house!!
Chapter XV: The Diagnosis, Part II: Your Son is Awesomely Made/God Gave Him To You, Specially
Chapter XVI: Special Olympic Families: The Best Group of Folks You'll Ever Meet
Chapter XVII: Becoming Best Friends with Me
Chapter XVIII: Figuring Out What I Like To Do
Chapter XIX: Doing What I Like To Do
Chapter XX: Blossoming, Blooming, Opening & Receiving




Outdoor pictures by: BFF, Lisa Doyle. She's awesome!
Story picture: Google courtesy
Sunday Scribbling Word Prompt: "story"

Clean Slate

Happy Belated New Year Everybody! :-) Prosperity, dreams, wishes, hope, peace & love to all! I feel very excited for what's to come.

I got my book, Still With Me, today in the mail from the give away @ the White Readers Meet Black Authors. Beyond excited - can't wait to start it! The authoress autographed it to me & sent along a separate note! I had almost forgotten I won, so it was a nice ending to the day. She also gave me her email address & invited me to FaceBook her. So cool!

I'm listening to the book Let's Take The Long Way Home on CD. I love reading my books, but I don't give myself time like I should. On CD, I can get through the book while driving to & from work. It's such a relaxing alternative to the usual radio crap & my CD's I've listened to thousands of times. When writers turn their books to CD, they should make sure the reader has what it take to keep the listener interested. One popular book I tried was read by the author, but it was very mundane. No voice inflection.

Both books deal with illness, friendship, loss, love, mothers/daughters. Hitting so close to home right now. 'Long Way' is such a touching memoir. Both the authoress & her deceased friend (subject of the book) have other books out there that I plan to add to my 'to-read' list. Between the books & my friend, Cassie, moving along in her journey, I am humbled, thankful & slapped in the face by perspective 24/7.

Lastly, on New Year's Day, it soared to a high of 55-60 degrees! Welcome to Ohio. I dropped everything on the spot, & took a walk.

Cleary, the willows were confused. they're now covered in 3" of snow...

The park's ice rink was definitely 'red-lighted' (thin ice)

A soft spot in the woods...

I used to climb all over & play on this wall when I was a kid. I love how worn it is...

Finally, I came upon the spot that kept me glued in tracks.

Reflections that reminded me of this excellent post about "adventure" from Own Your Own Beauty. Let's "go out and see what it is in life that might bring us joy."

Bring it on in 2011! :-)

Pictures by: ;-)

See Clearly Now

In 2011, it is my dream that my continuous love for the
lens will be my manifesto to all who stumble upon what I see...

Pictures by: me :-)
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "manifesto"