Ticket

After years of holding everything in
She finally found the courage
to hand him the ticket
to her much needed freedom

Freedom to not respond to that call
Or to leave a note
Or a message
To make arrangements
To call & check in
To keep up that front
Or act like she gives a damn

To no longer share space
But to gain her own space
To have no expectations
Nor obligations
But to concentrate
And meditate
And re-aquaint
And to not be attached to
that descriptive tag

Sunday Scribbling word: "ticket"

Paradise

"Sweetwater", indeed

"Shine though the pines"

"A long walk off a short pier" :-)

My new reading spot

Double take - from a distance, I thought this was a child

"Blue"

"Cat O' Nines in the wind"

"Swan." Sort of  "Monet-esque", no? Lol

I live about 5/10 minutes away from this lake. How many times have I driven past & around it without really taking time to "see" it. When I was a kid, it used to the site of "The Meyers Lake Amusement Park." Now, it's built up with large lake houses & condos. But the lake is still untouched. I realized I am blessed to live so near to paradise.

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "paradise"

The Dash

What matters is the "dash." On your tombstone, you have an arrival date & a departure date. No one pays attention to the [-] in between. The dash is our lives. Live your life. Take the lump of mud that we are, throw ourselves onto the potter's wheel, and shape life into the most vibrant thing you can think of. Have fun, be patient and wait. Your mud will settle. You water will be clear.

 

Photo: ehow.com
Sunday Scribbling word prompt; "Mud'

Heal

When Jesus is my portion , A constant friend is he
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me

Writing this with all of the victims of Hurricane Sandy in my heart and prayers. As I sit in my warm home, with clean water, electricity, heat, sipping hot coffee, preparing a hot Sunday dinner for later, my mind is stayed on those who need to heal. Their tears of dispair, hopelessness, and lost loved ones has not escaped God's eye. His eye is always on the sparrow.

With prayers of comfort and recovery for the East Coast. Amen.

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "heal"

Upgrade

Self-pity is one of the most dangerous forms of self-centeredness. It fogs our vision. ~ Annonymous

Tell me, what right do I have to ever have a pity party day when I am so blessed?
I go about my business and my life, thankful, but not really knowing

• how it is to have chemo, radiation, biopsies, neropathy, nausea, hair loss
• or to have to use a cane to walk, to be so, so thankful to wake up, to live another day
• to celebrate another birthday, to not be in constant pain

While the people I know that do suffer from such things

• shine their light their brightest
• give testament to milestones with pure joy
• walk marathons
• travel more, love more, live more and relish their moments more
• and live in their moments more

My attitude stays in a constant state of upgrade.

Picture: me; I pass this pond every day; when the water is warm, but the air is cool, a huge fog shrouds the pond.
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "upgrade"

Retreat

re·treat

noun \ri-ˈtrēt\
a place of privacy or safety : refuge

I find that one way I can break the stress factor is to grab the camera and retreat to an unknown path. 

~ Namaste

Pix: me
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "retreat" 

I understand...

Sometimes I get low
Feel I have no where to go
Feel like I have nothing left
But I know better

Sometimes I get pissed
Pieces of the puzzle just don't fit
Frustrations make me wanna quit
But I know better

Sometimes I just go along
Doing right, sometimes wrong
Wondering what my purpose is
But all along, taking care of my bizz
Because I know better

 So now when I doubt,
wonder, cry, scream and shout
I understand that God has my plan
Written in the palm of His hand
 
And that's what makes me know better. 

Pictures: me
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "I Understand."

Removal

In this new year of living 49 years, I vow to myself to slip off my costume of masks, open my heart to receive and give all things love, keep joy in my heart, a smile on face & be fully, totally and unforgiveably myself. My boobs may not be where they used to be and my tummy not as flat, but I am powerfully and beautifully made. There is not one other person on earth like me.

I'm finally grown up enough to embrace that. :-)

Love yourself. It's the greatest love of all.

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "costume"

Picture courtesy: Internet

Reflect

Today I reflect on my thankfulness of seeing another Spring emerge.

And for the bright green glow all the trees take on with new growth

And the birds singing their morning and evening songs

And the way the blossoms and blooms..

...glow in the sunlight in thanks for awakening.

Amen. :-)

CuppaTPhotography
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "reflect"

The Rest of the Story

My skin feels tight
I feel boxed in
I'm a bloom digging her way through the earth
Growing toward the sunlight and fresh air
and new growth in a new season

My breath feels short
Tight inside my chest
It is fighting to get out
To inhale, then exhale
All the fresh air it's been missing

My thoughts feel trapped
They feel restricted
From conforming to what others
think they should be

But my resolve is strong
It is tired, pissed & it is determined,
To regain that patch of sunshine
Where I will sit & enjoy the company
of myself

And I will live The Rest of the Story...

Pictures by: me ;-}
Sunday Scribblings word prompt: "the rest of the story"

Honest

I have found that when folks say that they want honesty, that honesty is not what they're looking for at all.

I believe that sometimes they have versions of honesty that require hearing only what they want to hear.

I have found that when you hold honesty in for long, and it finally exposes itself, it strikes a nerve in those who doubt your honesty. Because you never exposed it.

So, speak only with honesty and truth at all times, so you'll never be doubted.

And that is the honest truth.

Pictures by: me

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "honest"

Suspended Reality

On the side of the road; the sunrise through the cat o' nine's

Happy 'not really spring, yet'! We're 12 days into March with little to no present or past snow to speak of. Daffodils and Crocuses are all over the place. Yesterday, Son & I took the first annual walk of 'not spring.' Since I took over 90 pictures, I ask you to please take a quick sec & check only 50 'em here. Lol. When you get there, hit "Album Options/View Slideshow/" These shots are a few of them; I called the album "Signs of Spring' to catch everyone coming out of hibernation.
There were dog walkers, roller-bladers, bike riders, plenty of strollers, couples, grills, mini-picnics, motorcycles. etc. It's kinda hard to take pictures of folks without them looking right at you. I usually act like I'm focusing on something else :-)

I was surprised to see bees gathering pollen already. The willow is budding in the back & there's a stray grey cat hanging around, screaming to get inside for some reason. Don't know what it is about my house, but the dogs ain't feelin' the cat. At all. :-\
Otherwise, I'm back to driving again. The anxiety attacks are still underlying, but very mild. I feel more comfortable driving the smaller car for some reason. I had my first meeting with "Dr. Julie", the psych the doctor recommended. It was so/so; I did all the talking & basically told her everything I KNOW I need to do. She told me I had great insight. She's also a very faith-based counselor, so I felt good about that right off the bat. We're every other week for now.

Dr. J also told me I needed to treat myself more kindly, delegate & lose the guilt I'm drawn to. Today when I woke up & started the Monday routine, I realized how exhausted I truly am. I visualized total chaos at work & opted to give myself rest instead. I took a vacation day, laid down & woke up 3-1/2 hours later.

Having rested in total suspended reality.

"Son - my walking buddy"

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: suspended reality

Search

In my days of feeling confused

Frightened

Unsure

Lost

Insecure

and uncertain

I search for beauty to bring me peace.


Pictures by; me (St. Joseph's Catholic Church)
Sunday Scribbling post: "Search"