Me and Keith Urban

Earlier this week, I bought a guitar from a co-worker. 🎸

It wasn't an impulse buy. It's been on the bucket list forever and the chance fell into my lap.

I've always wanted to learn to play. I figure 40+ years was long enough of a wait.

It's an expensive guitar, but she sold it to me for a song. No pun intended. 😀

It's a "Keith Urban" and came with a set of teaching CD's, case and a buncha cool stuff.

Last nite I practiced for an hour. It's hard work getting your fingers just right on the frets. MAJOR finger practicing is in order.

After an hour, I was frustrated but I know it'll take time.

It's not like I'm going on tour next week.

It felt so liberating to buy it on the spot. One of the perks of employment.

The Sig.Other wasn't impressed at all. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't mention it to him first or what, but whatever ails him is not my problem.

In the meanwhile, I'm working on becoming the next Nancy to Ann Wilson's "Heart" and banging out "Crazy For You."

A 'girl' guitar player.

Hellz yeah. 😎😎😎

Running on Empty

I'm a "runner."

Nope, not a physical runner.

Not a 'carpet runner' on the floor.

I'm a feeling-runner.

When I touch the flame and it burns, I run.

This is nothing I'm truly proud of. It's a deeply instilled fight or flight response.

When I was a young wife and mother & things didn't work, I ran. Neither he or I was mature enough to make any adult type decisions on marriage/motherhood. I couldn't see any light @ the end of the tunnel. So I ran. Three thousand miles & aside from the living proof of my son, I acted like it never happened.

Recently, when a male friend whom I shared serious closeness/intimacy with chose 'not me', I ran. Not far, though, because he lives all of 5 mins. from my home. But chances are slim that we run into each other, so I unfriended him on social media as well. It was too painful for me to see pictures of him with his "Queen." And I'm pretending it was all nothing.

A couple years back; same thing. Different man, same flight response. No social media interaction, rarely run into each other in this small town, even though my heart drips with heartache for what could have been. And I'm pretending it was all nothing.

What causes this fear of intimacy? Until I can approach the subject without feeling like it's life or death, I'll never know.

Namaste

Pictures by: me (shot thru a chain-linked fence because the asses @ the fair wanted $8 just for parking and I wasn't feeling it.... ✊)

I Am A Badass...

This.

This book right here.

Gives me life.

In reading, I felt like "Jen" was speaking directly to me. I have so many pages tagged that I go back to.

Just to read & re-read. For assurance.

That I am definitely a Badass.

And proud of it.

💋

Feelin' Me

My Collage

So.... one day I realized when removing my head scarf from the night before, that I look rather 'regal' with this thing on. This very thing that I've worn since childhood (don't forget your HEAD RAG!!); this very thing that I see women sport on the regular thinking I would never dare try....

I took it a little further and added some sparkles from crafting down my forehead/third eye and added a touch of lip stick.

And Queen Makeda arrived. I'm not real fond of photos of myself, especially when I try taking a 'selfie' with a full scale DSLR (I don't own a smart phone), but here, I feel.... pretty.

Someone told me I looked like Maya Angelou.

I replied: "AND STILL I RISE." :-)

Tell Yourself

Pinterest

Pinterest

Pinterest

Now, let's get busy BELIEVING Ourselves.

Standing w/Standing Rock

"The protesters want to see construction of the pipeline halted entirely and its route changed. They point to a rising number of pipeline accidents in recent years as evidence that they are right to be concerned about the safety of their water source. 

“These pipelines are often seeping or leaking in small places, and we don’t have any way to detect them,” Doug Hayes, a staff attorney at the Sierra Club, told The Huffington Post in September. “These are the types of concerns the tribes have, and they’re, frankly, very well-founded.”
Such concerns were part of the reason why the pipeline’s original route, which passed near Bismarck, the state’s capital, was abandoned.
The tribe and its supporters also believe they were not properly consulted concerning the project’s effect on sacred sites and burial grounds."

Now... THIS pisses me off more than the disappointment I felt when 'the new Sheriff' got elected. Haven't the Natives been fucked with enough?

One would think so.

"Live!!!"

And my official word for the upcoming New Year is:

"LIVE"

¹live :verb \ˈliv\:to exhibit vigor, gusto, or enthusiasm

Maybe in some way, this can tie in with my bucket list at: http://bucketlist.org/list/traceykinohio/. :-)

Do you have a word that will be your mantra in 2014?

Randoms

I'll admit that in 2014, I want to fly. If I only had the courage. Let go of the fear.

I don't want to drag any 2013 baggage along

I want to realize what is real in my life, stop allowing emptiness & look at the big picture

Life would be perfect if: Some girls had mute buttons; Some guys had edit buttons; Hard times had fast forward buttons; And Good times had pause buttons.

I continue to be interested in new things that seem old, and old things that seem new.

Powerful Beyond Measure

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

In my life, this quote rings strong and true. If you're anything like me, when your light begins to shine too bright, we tend to dim it. Why? When I get compliments on my pictures, my first inner thought is, 'pffttt...anyone & everyone w/a camera could take THAT!'. Why can't I accept that I saw & captured it

Am I afraid of my power beyond measure?

Hello!!!

Hey friends! I'm still here. I know it's been awhile, but I've been spending so much time outside amongst my flowers that I haven't been motivated to write. Not that I have anything going on, but I thought I'd touch base.

I'm still unemployed. I have to admit, I haven't been searching that hard. I'm still trying to figure out what is good for me, but still avoiding any type of law firm. I applied to a couple of administrative jobs; one I didn't get, the other I haven't heard back yet. Trusting God to lead me in the right direction.

My son has been connected with a mentor that gives him four hours per week. This makes both of us feel so much better; he's getting out with "the fellas", and I have time to myself without worrying about having to drive him. So far, they've been to a couple of movies, a football game, The Hall of Fame, etc. We are blessed.

Dahlia #1 in kitchen table sunset

 A couple of weeks ago, I ran into an ex-co-worker at a downtown art studio. It didn't occur to me that she was selling her art until after we screamed & hugged. Lol. She told me after having more employers after we last saw each other, she went back to school for four years & got her degree in Graphic Design, and started doing her art. She makes beautiful colorful collages from magazine pages! Who would've thought?? Framed and matted, they make good abstract art.

Dahlia #2 in kitchen table sunset

Her message to me was to:

• never work for another law firm; they're the most disrespectful, entitled, shit-rolls-down-hill (right into your lap), self-esteem breaker type of places;
• find pleasure in doing what you love to do and make that your living. 

While Brenda isn't working right now, she's still in school and selling her art. She loves going to school & said she wishes there was a way she be could paid for being an eternal student. But the thing that got me was: she is very, very happy.

Namaste

vive la différence

I'm loving the touch of adding words to my pictures.
"Cuppa "T" came to me when I got my first DSLR & discovered total freedom.
When encouraged to market myself, I grow shy; even though it is my passion
I say, 'there is so much of 'it' out there already; what will make me unique?'
When deep down I embrace "vive la différence"*
Il est bon**

* (to celebrate ("vive" is equivalent to "long live") being different, meaning it's good that everyone is different.
**(it is good)

Pictures: Cuppa "T" Photography (me) :-)
Carry On Tuesday word prompt: "vive la différence"

Let It Shine

Turquoise Swallow-Tailed Finches

I feel my very best when I take good photos. I feel appreciative & blessed when folks comment on them. When 'they' say, 'why aren't you selling these?', or 'why don't you have a website?', or 'you're a professional & you don't even know it.' ....

Then I feel nervous. Lol. I used to say 'oh, it's the camera; it does all the work - I just point the camera.' But I couldn't be further from the truth. Nearly everyone in my family owns a camera, yet not many of us even touch them. So no, they couldn't just pick up the camera & it would do all the work.

There is a reason why I retrace my steps when I shoot; there is a reason I get closer; step back; zoom in, then out; turn this way, then that; get on my knees or on a chair; chase the sun, along with the shade, run outside in my "pj's", hang out a window, stand in the middle of the street, steady myself, hold my breath, go out in the rain and/or the snow. Spend hours downloading, editing, printing, turning prints into hand-made photo cards.

The reason: Because I want everyone to see exactly what I saw at that moment.

Which then makes me a photographer (nervous giggle). The next time folks ask if I am that; I will say, yes, I am a photographer, with confidence.

How to market me? Major suggestions have been: create a portfolio, create a business card, get a website (or should I reactivate my "Flickr" account & use that?); get an email page separate from my personal email. I started (very barely) an Etsy page, but shy away from when it comes to the thought of handling folks credit cards (YIKES!!). I need to get away from thinking, 'but there are tons of pictures 'like these' out there - what makes mine different?"

I need to listen to my 'shine' trying to come through. What have I got to lose? Time will past at any rate, right? :-)

"picture taken on a morning drive to Sippo Lake. perfect!"