Speak It

This became a reality for me over the last couple of weeks. I'll try to keep it brief.

• Went into a downtown coffee shop, saw this drawing and fell deeply in love upon sight

• I shot a pic & mentioned on FaceBook that I wished someone could draw it for me.
• I get a response from a FB friend that I've never met personally (but have been FB friends for a few years) that he could do for me - no problem
• I'm OVERWHELMED with gratitude. I mean just out of nowhere someone says, 'yeah... I can do that....'
• We haggle over price; well, I haggled - he told me he would do it, send it & let me decide what to pay him
• Now... clearly he doesn't know that I am clueless with that much power. Hell, I don't even know how to charge my OWN photography, let alone put a price on someone else's
• He keeps me posted on his progress, saying he wanted to find or build a frame
• I'm FREAKING over this much generosity. I mean... DYING
• Today...... this arrived

Original by S. Blakely

SERIOUSLY?????? All it took was the 'speaking' of it? Or that he thinks I'm pretty cool & enjoys my photography? What? Who? How? Why?

I cannot even put into words how grateful I am. When I keep thanking him profusely, he just says, 'thanks - glad you like it.'

What price do I put on this? The time he took to sketch this out on canvas, the shipping...

Oy vey.

I am abundantly blessed.

Namaste

NaBloPoMo, Day 20

I'm just joining in at Day 20; don't ask me why I'm so late because I truly won't have an answer. Lol.

"Do you have a book in you? Fact or fiction? Related to your blog or totally different?

 

For as much as I love to write, I don't have any type of book that would be worth publishing inside of me. In fact, it's more like an ongoing daydream as I'm a hopeless romantic. You know - like some sort of Hallmark movie. It's completely different from my blog.

 

I'm always dreaming of:

• Living in a big, beautiful, old farmhouse
• with a big, strapping beautiful man
• who absolutely could not live without me
• and me without him
• he chops wood for our fire places
• he builds anything from nothing
• he raises goats to keep the grass down on our acreage
• we hold hands & go for long walks
• we snuggle in front of the fire place
• and then we live happily ever after  and all that shit

See? There is no book inside me.

 

Just dreams.

"me and he"

 

Writing Room (NaBloPomo 02/2014)

Creative Room

Writing Room

Reading Room

February 1 ~Writing Room: A genie has granted your wish to build your perfect space for reading & writing; what’s it like?

Perhaps I could make the genie see my need for THREE wishes? Lol. The crafting room has natural light & plenty of organized spaces. It helps to have everything labeled & in their places. I find I buy 2/3 of the same things because I can't see what I already have;

My writing room would be only for computer related work; email, social media, etc. Again, the natural light got me, plus the bonus of a fireplace. Perfect.

My reading room - need I say more? I could see myself w/reading glasses, journals, paper, pens. And never leaving this spot.

Pictures: Internet 
NaBloPoMo

Defiant

The tornado has always been one of my most extreme fears. Weather freaked me out. Later in life, I am believing it was because my grandmother, MamaNell, terrified us as kids. Not to point blame, but she made us think that if we didn't shut the house down & sit in total darkness until a storm passed, we would surely be struck by lightning & meet God. Instantly.

I was paralyzed. Not until years later when I had to act brave for my very young son at the time did I face the storms of all my life.

Now, I have been having nightmares of tornadoes. I've always had them for years, but now it's almost every time I remember a dream. It's (the t-nado) always very close & I spend a lot of energy trying to get away until something else bizarre distracts me (i.e., suddenly @ work w/my pajamas on; battling w/neighbors I don't recognize. 

There is unrest & I wake exhausted from being totally defiant to the fear of it all. 

Pictures: Internet
Sunday Scribblings word prompt: "defiant'

I want to turn the clock back to when people lived in small villages 

 and took care of each other. ~Pete Seeger

Some years ago, I noticed after I lived on this tiny street that it was odd that all the houses had huge trellised rose bushes. Now this was some 15 years ago and folks have done their own thing, like tearing the rose bushes out. By the time I arrived, there was no bush at my house, but I was bestowed with generates of extremely hearty Morning Glories.

But I thought what a time of friendship that must've been.

What is a friend? I'm picturing neighborly friends who: shared excesses of their veggie gardens; shared extra plant seeds; shared rose bush cuttings, shared morning glory seeds, shared fresh made bread; spent time on each others porches, cried together, laughed together, shared meals together, helped each other, loved each other as neighbors, and took care of each other.

What a time that must've been.

Picture: me (patio Hibiscus. My first. It thrives.)

Carry On Tuesday phrase prompt: 'what is a friend?'

Randoms

First off, I want to introduce to you Miss Tuesday Imani Wilson! She's my youngest brother, Alfonzo, and his beautiful wife, Karen's new baby girl born on THURSDAY, Feb. 2nd. Tuesday is totally loved, welcomed, blessed and has a HOARD of family just itching to get their hands on her! Unfortunately for us, they live in L.A., so hands on isn't possible right this second. But I'm thankfully basking in the glow of her arrival and thank God for the joy she's bringing to her parents. They've been waiting so long for her. Snuggle in & enjoy her, guys. She's beautiful.


I want to give the highest of shout-outs to my sweet friend, Cassie. Even with all the trials she's going through health wise, she's still going on with her life. She had her first day of training to be a sitting Judge. She wore fire engine red heels which were a huge hit. I'm so thankful that she has the strength and drive to get on with every day life in spite of how she feels. She's such a shining example for all of us on how to keep on truckin'. She puts me to shame!

Prayers of comfort the the family of "Yoli", a dear friend of Cassie's that I, too, prayed for constantly, especially in her final days of transitioning. You are free now, Yoli - free from all pain and tears. Rest in God's arms, sweet angel. Yoli had written a book of her trials during her illness with all proceeds to go to her 10-month old grandson, Puda. It's a beautiful book; once I can find the link, I will share.


Still basking in the glow of love I felt when spending time with Mom this past Tuesday. While she was putting the tabs on the books of my bible for me, I was like a little girl. Mom was patiently doing that while I was all over the kitchen, bouncing around, asking questions, just like when I was a little girl. That feeling never goes away, thank God.

Prayers to God to watch out over me job-wise. I'm not getting a good vibe about the security & stability of my employer, so I've been slowly putting the resume out. Been getting good feedback, but nothing to make me leave where I am right now. While the walls of Jericho might be trembling & shaking, I hold tight to my faith & trust that God will put me right where I need to be,when He knows it's time. Amen.

I'm super glad that we're having such a mild winter so far. Temps have been hanging in the 40's, so even if snow comes, it melts quickly, thank God. It snowed today - these pictures are from yesterday. Go figure.

In the meanwhile, it's taking a toll on my sinuses.

Can I really spend $300+ for a zoom lens? Contemplating...

Palms clasped in thanks for the compliments I get on my pictures. I am so grateful that people appreciate what I see and I love sharing.

My goal for 2012 is to take my eyeballs and camera about the country and see new places and things. I am so deserving! :-)

But in the meanwhile, I'll continue to just 'be' where I am now.

And appreciate each moment :-)

Pictures by: me & Baby Tuesday's parents

Joy

Even though it's raining now, the first 2 pictures are from this early morning. It's amazing how the weather changes. As you can see, my Mighty Willow still bears leaves in December, so hopefully, that means winter will be kind to us.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this before, but I was offered an opportunity to shoot pictures for a local website connected to our newspaper. I came by this when I entered a daily photo challenge & the editor asked me if I would be interested in shooting outside of the contest.

Swoon.

However, after many emails & a meeting with the editor, I found myself overwhelmed by the offer. He wanted me to; get myself set up & connected to a lot of the networks out there (Twitter, & about 5 others), get my own domain, drive here, drive there, take this, take that. This would not be for pay, but for photo credit.

After thinking on it for a few, I decided that I can't handle all that he is asking. I am truly flattered that he likes my stuff, but I do work 8 hours a day, I do have a relationship, & I do have a son deeply involved in sports.

The editor, who is a super nice guy, told me he would be open to any ideas I have of what I would like to shoot, and if I were consistent, he would give me my own link at the site. He then gave me his card & told me once that happened, I would have business cards as well.

Now this sounds like a blessing of all blessings, but I cannot agree to something that would wear me so thin. I would nearly have to be childless, jobless & single to pull off what he's asking.

I would like to do this, but it has to be on my time. I would rather do my own thing & let him post it @ his site & he give me a shout-out, but it can't be "a job." He was very interested when I mentioned I wanted to shoot the historical churches in our city. And he asked me to be on the look out for "peace poles" to shoot :-). I guess they are very rare & scattered about the County.

Photography is a huge source of my joy. I am never less than super grateful when folks comment on my pictures. I am blessed to always see a picture somewhere, in every thing, every day, all day.

Pictures by: me (the last 3 are of the Art District Downtown & ones I have submitted to the "398" Photo Challenge.)
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "joy"

Eat Pray Love

"We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning." ~ Anonymous

I finally sat down & watched Eat Pray Love last nite, and boy was I moved. I'm still reflecting on it this morning:

• I admired the way she prayed for guidance about her being unhappy in her marriage and had the strength to end it, even though she & her husband were still in love. She felt she needed more in spite of it, and had the courage to let it go
• I admired the way she stepped way out of her comfort zone by traveling to an unfamiliar place
• I admired the way she shed layers and appreciated the customs of those she was around and made those her family
• I admired her concern for others in the way she asked her friends to not shower her w/material birthday gifts, but make a donation to those who were in distress in the country where she learned to pray (which equaled $18,000.00)
  
• I ADORED the tiny little wise man who taught her how to open her heart & how she kept returning to him
• I admired her friendship with the American man @ the ashram who also opened, forgave himself & returned to America to face his demons
• I loved her 'quiet place' in Bali where she was faced with raw, true, open matters of the heart
• I loved the Brazilian man whom she finally trusted to love, even though they were both afraid to love & were trying to protect their hearts

I believe I just admired the whole pattern of the movie; letting go, opening up & living your true life. It made me wonder what's 'out there' for me if I would jump of the cliff of faith & allow God to truly give me the life he wants for me. I know it has to be what God would want because the message was 'freeing.' I don't think I realize what a box I've created for myself. As I absorbed the movie, I felt various parts of me screaming out to be free.

Screaming out for me to give meaning to my life.

The List inside the Bucket

Internet Image

I don't know why I've never attempted to create a bucket list. Maybe cause I never allow myself to dream too wildly, which is not good. That's what dreams are for, aren't they? Or I do not allow myself to dream anything that I know damn well I'll never do, but again - that's why they're called dreams.

So, today, I've decided to let myself go, climb out & dream. 10,000, 1,000, 500, 100 or even 50 seem overwhelming right now, so I'll start w/15 - a nice, small, number.

1. visit the coastal islands of Georgia
2. " " Sanibel Beach, Florida, & add to my shell collection
3. " " Italy
4. " " Greece
   
5. open a restaurant for the homeless; no money required
6. own a bookstore
7. own a big, old farmhouse w/wraparound porch
8. learn to ride a horse
9. own a nursery
10. photograph L.A. from the "Hollywood" sign
11. display my photographs at an art gallery
12. spend a week on an exotic, luxury island
13. wear a slinky, sexy dress w/spaghetti straps
14. attend a real "high end" occasion that will require said dress
15. rent a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains
    

Kind of a sad list, isn't? I mean, what's wild about these things? These are very normal, "do-able" things. I mean, you don't see anything uninhibited, like 'swim the Serengeti', or "bungy jump off the side of a cliff," you know? I think this list kinda shows how I limit myself and "keep safe' I am, even in my dreams.

Wonder when will I wake up & live my best life?




Sky picture by: me :-)

Vacation for one, please

"I may be just a foolish dreamer. But I don't care.
'Cause I know my happiness is waiting out there somewhere.
Somewhere.
I'm searching for that silver lining. Horizons that I've never seen.
Oh I'd like to take just a moment and dream my dream.
Dream my dream.
Zoom.
I'd like to fly far away from here.
Where my mind is fresh and clear.."

Pictures by: me :-)
Lyrics: "Zoom" by the Commodores

25 Randoms & Windows

'

1. special olympic sports never end & they pretty much dominate all of your Saturdays. Every season.
   
2. we have shirts that say "Mom, aka 'Roadie.'" (lol!) cute & true.
3. all in love with my new camera & iPod. they both soothe the savage beast-ette.
4. congratulations to the people in Egypt for their joy.
5. i need a vacation - STAT.
6. i hyperventilate every time i think of my new garden on the empty lot
7. i can't believe i followed thru & actually hand made simple Valentine's Day cards
8. and mailed them out to everyone!
9. it's funny how after temperatures in the teens, 35 degrees almost feels balmy
10. i need to go someplace different to take new pictures of fresh things
11. i would like to see the faces of the folks @ the nursing homes when they get my random cards
12. i'm pissed that PBS & NPR's funds are in jeopardy
13. iPod + podcasts = Happy Tracey
14. my photog friend told me it's best to shoot pix in "raw." it's a good thing.
15. why do i check out more library books than I could ever possibly read in two weeks?
    
16. sending random cards is perfect opportunity to feed my latest 'thing'; rubber stamp designs. Yay!
17. discovery: curly spinach beats flat-leaf, hands down
18. this would be a pretty cool garden, no? seats among the harvest (lol). Swoon
    
19. why is my stylist @ JCPenney suddenly 'booked solid' constantly? Damn!
20. sadness is seeing a book @ Border's for $23
21. happiness is seeing the same book @ the library book sale for $1
    
22. a friend randomly sends me little packages of handmade treasures. its always a perfect end to a day
23. when i held the door for an elderly woman, she told me she liked my smile the best. blessings
24. Ahh.. Thich Nhat Hanh 'gets' my need/craving for spells of silence
25. i love how i'm blessed to be able to see a picture in all things :-)

Pictures by: me :->

The story of my life, thus far is filled with many chapters.


Chapter I: Little Sister/Big Sister/Tom Boy
Chapter II: Little Sister/Big Sister/Prima Donna Teenager
Chapter III: High School Graduate/Think She Knows it All
Chapter IV: Moved to L.A. @ 17; She Knows Nothing
Chapter V: Moved back to Midwest; Still Clueless

Chapter VI: Moved to L.A., again; Is it possible to still be Clueless?
Chapter VII: OMG! She's Getting Married/The Most Clueless Move Ever Made
Chapter VIII: OMG! She's Having a Baby!!
Chapter VIV: Moving Back to the Midwest w/the Baby
Chapter X: OMG! She's A Mother!!

Chapter XI: The Divorce
Chapter XII: The Diagnosis: Your Son is autistic
Chapter XIII: Get Over Yourself & Realize How Blessed You Are
Chapter XIV: OMG! She bought a house!!
Chapter XV: The Diagnosis, Part II: Your Son is Awesomely Made/God Gave Him To You, Specially
Chapter XVI: Special Olympic Families: The Best Group of Folks You'll Ever Meet
Chapter XVII: Becoming Best Friends with Me
Chapter XVIII: Figuring Out What I Like To Do
Chapter XIX: Doing What I Like To Do
Chapter XX: Blossoming, Blooming, Opening & Receiving




Outdoor pictures by: BFF, Lisa Doyle. She's awesome!
Story picture: Google courtesy
Sunday Scribbling Word Prompt: "story"

dont outrun the sky

When I watch the clouds in the sky

they make me feel small


and insignificant


while they put on their ominous slide show


and threaten to show their power

then they notice me watching

with my small, insignificant self



and they lighten up



wave hello



and move on their way. Leaving me feeling not so small and insignificant after all.

"A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition." ~William Arthur Ward

Pictures by: me :-) (lunch break spent looking "up.")