Checkin' In

You turn your back for one minute and another month passes. Hello Ms. March!

03/06/18, 6:15 p.m. backyard sunset by: Me

• I'm finding it hard to believe this June will mark ONE YEAR of my being at the store.
• Nothing more in life has been happening here. I haven't been to Italy, Greece, The Coastal Georgia Islands or any place else that's been on my bucket list forever. Often times I wonder if I'll ever get to any of those places.
• I feel like I live a very quiet life which is cool, but at times can be quite maddening. This lovely quote comforts me in some way:

"Solitude" by: Me

• On the reading front: "A Confident Heart" has become another one of my favorites. I love my faith, God and any good reading that makes me feel even more grateful in my gratitude walk
• "The Story of Arthur Truluv", because I love anything Elizabeth Berg writes
• "They Left Us Everything" because I love a good memoir and it kinda reminds me of what my sibs and I will have to face with mom...
• "Happier At Home" because who doesn't want their home to be simple, comfortable and full of love?
• "Living In Full Bloom" because I'm all in for books that share how to live in constant bloom; and
• "Daughters of Men" perhaps because I didn't have a father/daughter relationship in my life and I love reading about Black Women who do/did

On the art front: Paint chip butterflies on canvas board, hot glue on canvas board covered in foil and polished w/black shoe polish, my contribution to Valentine's Day (acrylic paint on canvas board), and "Loretta and Devine" (named after the amazing Loretta Devine), my first time with Orchids. Side note: "Loretta" is THRIVING: ALL the petals have since fallen off "Devine." 😭 Research says don't trip - she's not dead.

"Loretta"

"Devine"

 Until next time - from this quiet life.

Trybe Strong

Photo by: me

My best friend has breast cancer.

We got together @ her lovely home yesterday, she gave me this lovely journal for a Christmas gift, we talked, laughed, chatted, then she told me.

I'm not ashamed to tell ya - I'm a 'weeper.':

weep·er

ˈwēpər/

noun

1. 1.

   a person who weeps.
2. 2.

   historical

   funeral garments, in particular.

Any of the following moments can open the floodgates for me:

• when I do Bible study/meditation because I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness to God for everything - good and/or bad; 
• when a movie touches my heart
• when folks get hurt, killed, or die (which in today's world would leave me a nasty mess at all times, but there are specifics to this one)
• @ natural disasters because my heart gets overcome by the loss & sadness for others
• when I've had too much drink and the conversation turns sad or deep
• when I think of my mom these days (dementia)
• when I open my heart and receive

But not this time!!! (Huh?) I felt so powerfully faithful for my friend - not one drop of sadness or fear. Why? Because I didn't feel any of those things and 24 hours later, I still don't.

I feel like God has got this like He has everything else under the sun. Not that blessings are based on any type of our merits (cause there's nothing we can do FOR God; he just wants our love and obedience), but this just feels different. I trust God so hard in this situation that I plainly don't have one shadow of a doubt that this will all come out in line with His will, which is that my friend will go over this "speed bump" (her words) on her journey and continue to live her beautiful life.

I have a friend through Facebook that I've never met in person. She's West Coast, I'm Midwest. We exchange snail mail, she knitted me a pair of fingerless gloves just because I mentioned I wanted a homemade pair (WEEP!!!) and she's going thru the valley of breast cancer. When she told me it had returned and metastasized, I cried so hard I couldn't breathe!

But me and THIS woman? No. The only feeling I have is being there for her & her family in the best way I can. She has a huge tribe of family & friends so I'm not real sure where and when I should step in, nor what I should do, but you can bet the farm I will be there. Starting yesterday.

I have a gazillion and two, no wait - three journals, but they all pale in comparison to this one. If not tonight, tomorrow I will start journaling (the goal is daily) in honor of my girl. She bought one for herself one so we can push each other to stay on top of it. She's never journaled so maybe she can learn from me. Because I've always been 'the writer.' If I don't get my words outta my head and heart, I'd be bat shit crazy.

So here's to being part of my girl's "trybe." I've never felt more protective of her or love for her.

I am love, I am light. I am peace. I am Trybe Strong.

Photo by: me ("Blue Skies on Canvas"

Everyone Has A Story

An elder lady let me go ahead of her in the grocery line today. Since she was so kind & friendly, I inquired as to what she was going to prepare with quite a bit of pork. In the time it took for me to check out, I learned/loved of her:

• Friendly
• Kind
• 83 years old
• She still drives herself everywhere
• She wore makeup (brows, powder & lipstick)
• Her outfit was pulled together
• She loves cooking
• FROM SCRATCH
• She cooked daily for her husband and six (6) children; FROM SCRATCH
• TV dinners, if ever, were a "treat" or a "snack"
• Her adult children now cook for their families FROM SCRATCH
• She makes her own Chow-Mein
• She makes her own HANDMADE NOODLES for said Chow-Mein
• She's a pork lover; no chicken and/or beef
• She used be well-known for her pork chop dishes
• She uses bone-less pork chops & Kraut in the crock pot every year for New Year's (one of her son's favorites)
• Her mother died when she was 2 years old
• She grew up in foster homes, the longest being on a farm
• By the time she was 10 years old, she could prepare a full course meal - alone
• Folks aren't kind like they used to be
• She wished my mom a Happy Birthday!! :-)
• Her biggest fear is Alzheimer's/Dementia
• Her Aunt had Alzheimer's and it was/is a horrible condition
• She tries to stay sharp by doing what she loves
• She wished me a Happy New Year
• She hugged me

When I got to my car, hot tears streamed down my face. I felt super-blessed to have had that brief peek into her life, to have met her. But on the other hand, I felt truly bad for mom. My mother was NEVER a bubbly, conversation-starter, friendly person, but when I looked at this lady one year younger than mom, and still so full of life.....

Today, I was definitely in the right place at the exact right time. And I thank God for that.

Peace.

Beautiful, vibrant stranger (Google Image)

Let me bring you up to date....

"WHERE HAVE YOU  BEEN?" is the questions I usually get from family when I 'go under.'

And you know you've been wondering, too. Don't lie to me.. Hhhaaa!!

(Go Under: when one has finally had enough of everything on her plate and chooses to go silent into ones own head; contacts no one, talks to no one & basically fills time doing photography, or making their 100th mixed media collage, and/or reading 2-3 books at one time, and always meditating on ones relationship with God (or whatever one chooses to call their higher power)

Pretty much nothing changed life-wise until I finally.... found a job. This is THEE job I thought I had been waiting three years to get. Small law-firm, even though I had no desire to go back to 'law', it was the only profession I had worked nearly all of my adult life.

About 1 month into this new venture, I realized... I had no clue what I was doing. It was hard trying to absorb the chaotic world of 'family law.' You know - the laws that had to made to curtail the behavior of lives falling apart. Divorce, dissolution, child custody, GALs (guardian ad litems for the interest of the children of the lives falling apart), jealousy, flat out hate, abuse, stalking....Damn!

I'll spare you the remainder of the train wreck, but after a short four month stint, they let me go.

Don't cry for me, Argentina; I was relieved to be let go. Yes, I felt such a release at not having to deal with that part of folks' lives and all the horrendous paperwork and meticulous steps that come along with it all. I found I would show up in a great mood and by the end of the day, I was emotionally worn out.

Short story shorter, I'm back to what Joyce Meyer calls "The Silent Years." This the time when: you are alone w/you dreams for the future, and it seems as if nothing at all is happening. You are just waiting and trying not to give up! It may even seem that what is happening to you is leading you in an opposite direction than what you had imagined. This is the season when God prepares to use you in greater and greater ways.

.... and I'm good with that.

The August Break/Day 17/Bookshelf

Don't even get me started on books. They've been my closest friends since I was a child. My favorites were The Nancy Drew Series, Little Women & The Five Little Peppers & how they grew - a set my mother gifted me on my 8th birthday.

As you can see, my books aren't arranged in any particular fashion. (These are just 'a few' books in my bedroom - we won't approach downstairs - lol!)

I love books about slavery, love stories, folks trying to find their way, over-coming obstacles, but mostly books about God. They comfort me in such a way that I can't have too many.

Next to my bed, I keep Jesus Calling, the Bible & an assortment of this 'n that. I've been known to jump from book to book.

Treasures, indeed :-)

The August Break

"The August Break, 2014" (Day 4)

I stumbled upon this idea for writing @ the suggestion of Grace of Red Barn Studios.


Today's (08/04//14) prompt is "orange." Seriously, have you ever NOT been happy when you saw the color orange?

It's a color that DEMANDS joy.

I try to give it all the attention I can. :-) Feel free to join in on the daily challenge if you will. I can't say I'll make it everyday, but it'll def. give some ideas on being in the moment.

Sunday

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). When we think of this verse, we usually think about “good works” as ways we can help others, and that’s true. Remember though: In the beginning when God was getting creative and bringing everything into existence, He evaluated His creation and decided it was “good.” Creativity can minister to a person’s heart the same way a meal or a hug might. (Inspired by "Project Inspired")

I listened to this very Podcast on this subject on the iPod (Midday Connection) while I created at my desk. I call this set of photo collage, "The Blues" compiled of the color blue that inspired me. Creativity inspired by God, indeed! :-)

My Word

With the shut-down of a few of my favorite writing prompt sites, I've been on the hunt for a challenge/commitment. "Five Things Friday", Carry On Tuesday & "Sunday Scribblings" all called it a day.

I came across "#One Word 365" and decided I will 'declare' my word for 2014. I want it to be a word that has a true meaning for me; something I believe in strongly or something I need to do.

With so much down time for Holidays, I've been very reflective & am courage & strength to free the fears.

Collage by: me :-)

That kinda day

The best thing

one can do

when it's raining

is to

let it rain ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

NaBloPoMo, 10/09/13

"Lark or Owl"? ~ "The One Minute Writer"

I am definitely the Lark. I am a get up and get moving type of person. Morning is my favorite time of the day, preferably when the rest of the city sleeps. I love to take my coffee outside & listen to the sounds & message of the birds singing, crickets chirping, and the earth waking up. I breathe deeply and look toward the sky.

"I'm trying the One Minute Writer challenge. Writing steadily for one minute. I like this. I'm also about 5 days late on my "NaBlo", yet feeling no pressure. :-) In all honesty, I had forgotten about it, but it's not too late.

Let It Shine

Turquoise Swallow-Tailed Finches

I feel my very best when I take good photos. I feel appreciative & blessed when folks comment on them. When 'they' say, 'why aren't you selling these?', or 'why don't you have a website?', or 'you're a professional & you don't even know it.' ....

Then I feel nervous. Lol. I used to say 'oh, it's the camera; it does all the work - I just point the camera.' But I couldn't be further from the truth. Nearly everyone in my family owns a camera, yet not many of us even touch them. So no, they couldn't just pick up the camera & it would do all the work.

There is a reason why I retrace my steps when I shoot; there is a reason I get closer; step back; zoom in, then out; turn this way, then that; get on my knees or on a chair; chase the sun, along with the shade, run outside in my "pj's", hang out a window, stand in the middle of the street, steady myself, hold my breath, go out in the rain and/or the snow. Spend hours downloading, editing, printing, turning prints into hand-made photo cards.

The reason: Because I want everyone to see exactly what I saw at that moment.

Which then makes me a photographer (nervous giggle). The next time folks ask if I am that; I will say, yes, I am a photographer, with confidence.

How to market me? Major suggestions have been: create a portfolio, create a business card, get a website (or should I reactivate my "Flickr" account & use that?); get an email page separate from my personal email. I started (very barely) an Etsy page, but shy away from when it comes to the thought of handling folks credit cards (YIKES!!). I need to get away from thinking, 'but there are tons of pictures 'like these' out there - what makes mine different?"

I need to listen to my 'shine' trying to come through. What have I got to lose? Time will past at any rate, right? :-)

"picture taken on a morning drive to Sippo Lake. perfect!"

Sharp

The one thing I love about photography is when you capture exactly what you see; when the images come out clear and sharp; you've captured a bit of reality, a moment in time, happiness in your soul, and you can't wait to share :-)

I did a bit of sun-chasing across the kitchen floor. Lol.
Sunday Scribblings prompt: "sharp"

East & West

There are often times my mind takes me way ahead of the moment.
While I am doing one thing, my mind is further ahead than the present time
This causes me to miss many things that are meant for just then
So today, I resolve to look no further than as far as my eyes can see
And to take the time to notice all things
Like how the sun rises in the East
While the moon still hangs in the West
~ Namste 

Pictures: me
Carry On Tuesday word prompt: "as far as my eyes can see"
 

The East

The West

"Do You....

 I don't usually get into religious or political things with folks. No religion talks because everyone has their own faith in their own higher power.

I don't talk politics because I am extremely politically incorrect. I don't know enough (or never paid attention enough) to know what was going on, so I steer clear.

... See

 A few days ago, a close friend, who considers himself Islam, sent me a couple of YouTube vids. of a Pastor who mentored him back in the day. The pastor was saying what lies the Bible tells, and the books of the Bible are all stories made up & translated. He said the "King James" version of the Bible was created by a man named James Stuart.

There was another video called "There is no Jesus & he's not coming Back." I didn't bother to watch that one because I couldn't get past the first video.

... what

 I told my friend that this was against everything I had ever learned in my life, and while it was interesting to give a listen, I couldn't agree with it because I know who my Lord & Savior are. The pastor that preaches this & has many videos out there, almost made it sound racially charged.

The things I heard stung me! As my thoughts lingered on them, I had to have some quiet meditation to refocus myself.

I...

...See?"

I KNOW God is my Father. He has gotten me through SO much, and I KNOW Jesus is in my heart and he died on the rugged cross for all of our sins. My faith sustains me; keeps me calm in the storm; God's arms comfort me when I need hugging, love & understanding.

When I was a child, about 9/10 yrs. & took the "big plunge" of asking Jesus to come into my heart forever, my most super favorite Bible School teacher taught me on my five fingers that Jesus said:
1) I
2) shall
3) never
4) leave
5) thee


He never has, and I'll be damned if I start to ever doubt Him.

I'll call this learning lesson: Different strokes for different folks (courtesy of Sly & the Family Stone) Lol.

Pictures taken by: me

Created by: God

Amen :-)

Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.  ~Madeleine L'Engle

I am writing with thoughts of my dear Cassie. I've spoke of her here before - she's terminal with cancer, yet she is the strongest person I know. She has had so many setbacks with her health, yet she still shines through. Her faith in God is unwavering! She is now at another cross road  health wise and admits she battles huge bouts of fear, yet God keeps her steady. She is preparing to participate in another marathon for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. Please take a look at her donation page & hear a little of her story. And if you feel so inclined, please donate a little. It means so much to her, me and all the others battling and/or survived the nasty cancer. 

Peace, love & comfort to all of you. But especially to my Cassie. :-)

Picture by: me. I chose this picture to show no matter where you're planted, you can still always bloom. Just like Cass.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller

A person's world is only as big as their heart ~ Tanya A. Moore

He loves me not ~ Tracey :-)

Pictures by: me :o)

"Morning is the best of all times in the garden. The sun is not yet hot. Sweet vapors rise from the earth. Night dew clings to the soil and makes plants glisten. Birds call to one another. Bees are already at work." ~ William Longgood
 

I love coming out onto the porch or patio in the early morning (before 6 a.m.) and soaking in the quiet. It's when I quiet my mind, listen, then take each moment at a time.

It truly does give my day a peaceful start.

~Namaste :-)

Pictures from my yard by me: royal blue bell, & Gabriel's trumpet, or "moon plant." When the trumpet opened, Mr. Bee was already inside. I believe he just may have spent the night in there. :-)

My joy

Tall, handsome & beautifully autistic

This is my son, James. He is my joy because:

• he sees the goodness in everything
• he sees the bright side of everything
• he is honest (painfully - LOL)
• he only wants to please
• he only wants to be part of the team
• he brings happiness to whoever is around him
• he has a child-like vision of the world
• Matthew 18:3: And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
• he is so going to heaven
• he is most polite
• he is most kind
• he is most gentle
• he is always forgiving
• he is always willing to help
• he is always most happy, and when he's not, you have to really dig to find out why
• he made me really grow up immediately at the age of 24 when he was born
• he changed my world view
• he changed my behavior
• he made me let go of any poor thoughts I had of his father, my ex-husband, even though he has no memory of who his father is
• he keeps me even keeled
• he's accepting, even though he may be dissappointed
• he encourages me to buy him things, only because he never asks for anything. But Skittles
•  he thinks every day is a beautiful day & says so every morning
• when I slip a curse word or 2 (or 12), he tells me "it's inappropriate"
• don't let this serious face fool you - he has a smile as big as the sun
• he is unconditional love

Thanks, God. :-)

Picture by: me

Honest

I have found that when folks say that they want honesty, that honesty is not what they're looking for at all.

I believe that sometimes they have versions of honesty that require hearing only what they want to hear.

I have found that when you hold honesty in for long, and it finally exposes itself, it strikes a nerve in those who doubt your honesty. Because you never exposed it.

So, speak only with honesty and truth at all times, so you'll never be doubted.

And that is the honest truth.

Pictures by: me

Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "honest"