September Song

 

The "Harvest"

Well, here we are in the last week of September. I can't even express about time flying. It's an old cliche that holds endless truth. In this neck of my woods, we had a drought that seemed endless. I loved the blue skies/sunshine/tolerable temps, but I sure missed the rain and a good overcast day. My newly planted grass (again) went straight to hell. Also, hand-watering 'the jungle' of about 30 potted plants, the 'garden on wheels', the flower bed, keeping the bird baths full became ... 😧. But it's all good. I'll miss it when winter comes.

So, the picture of the Harvest produced more than I thought. It was just something to try since I don't have any place to do an inground garden. SURPRISE!!! It gave just enough for me. I even got a few green peppers. It was fun eating the sun-kissed 'matoes' straight off the vine with the salt shaker in hand. Lol. Childhood revisited.

Beautiful table by Dollar Tree

Break bread together

"Ladies Luncheon", 09/2025

My two sisters & my niece are keeping monthly lunches @ each other's homes going strong. OMG, how did we not know how much we all needed this in our lives!! It started w/Sister #2 saying (last December), 'why don't you have lunch @ your house for us?' (It was one year since my guys passed away) And from there it's gone full circle with my turn being in December again. Living in the mid-west, we have to make adjustments for what the weather will do since Sis#2 lives an hour away. So this is how the dates usually end; we're full of good food, drinks, music, medicinals, conversation and so much love. (I'm on the far right looking ...... questionable at best. LOL!)

And now I have three

So.... I added two more guitars to my one and I couldn't be happier. The total price of these two came to a whopping EIGHTY-SEVEN DOLLARS!!! The Mandolin was from a Resale shop going out of business, the second from the lady working there that casually mentioned she'd sell me her daughter's brand new guitar (the daughter moved to England & started a band!! Very cool). I was BEYOND excited. The Mandolin is missing two strings, reconstruction would be $$ out the ass, so it's just lovely decoration. It's VERY old. #score 

A Fall Walk

One Sunday morning, I walked the park near my house. There's always something very beautiful there to see. It's Dahlia season here and they did not disappoint. I was also happy to see the 'nature frame' that lives in the gardens year round is still being decorated according the season. God was everywhere! 😇

Otherwise, everything is going okay. I'm abundantly blessed, peaceful and thankful beyond words. In December, it'll be 2 years since my son and partner left earth. The grief for my son will never go away and I still have uncontrollable sobs and sadness at him not being with me, but I know where he is and know that I'll see him again. I remember after he died, then the partner, I went on a weekly binge of totally clearing out the house. I put so much out with the trash that the garbage guy asked if I was moving. Lol. I wanted no trace of the partner ever having been here (which is pure denial since it was over 30+ years), but we were SO unhappy and I put my life so on hold.

I remodeled the bathroom myself and made everything the way I needed to make MYSELF happy. The 'gung-ho-ness' of turning son's room into my craft room fell by the wayside. You can't call it a craft room if you haven't crafted in a few years. The lovely paint is still in the unopened cans, etc. I did manage to patch/spackle two holes but that's it. I haven't even sanded them down. Sometimes I wonder 'where am I mentally/creatively?' Seems the only thing I can accomplish is working everyday.

Lastly, I'm still 'seeing' my guy, if you can call it 'seeing.' We met four years ago when he was a customer @ the store. I was completely stricken with his kindness, looks (yes), he grew up on a farm, drove truck for 50 years and us sharing the same faith. He's a caretaker to his much older wife (which I totally respect) and he's 11 years older than me. I think when we met, my son's health was spiraling and I had NO support from the partner. Not that he (partner) didn't completely love my son (since the age of 2 or 3), but he had no clue on how to support me in my sadness, anxiousness and fear. In fact, he was downright harsh & mean which led me to have to verbally attack him. It drove the already truck-sized wedge between us deeper. In hindsight, he was sick and afraid as well which led to his death by massive heart attack while I was at work 17 days after my son's passing. I just wish we could have shared the kindness I was trying to give. Oh well ...

Then came my guy who was, if nothing else, cognizant of what I was going thru. If for nothing else to let me cry, sob, laugh, listen, console, pray and keep him updated on my son. From the hospital, to the nursing home, back to the hospital and finally to the passing.

We don't see each other often but we talk/text everyday, and this is good enough for me. I love my new space and my own company. He came into my life in the middle of quite a storm. Sometimes I wonder do we really love each other like we say or was I desperate for someone gentle and/or was he curious about a Black woman. We are TOTALLY NOT the same politically and there's things he never knew about my culture that makes me wonder. We never talk politics (I'm not politically correct in any way and avoid talking it like the plague), but we do share our faith. It wasn't coincidence that he walked up to my counter one Sunday, four years ago, after leaving church.

He's a great guy though, but I hope his wife lives forever. 😁

Thanks for reading whoever you are. Happy Autumn!!

Let me bring you up to date....

"WHERE HAVE YOU  BEEN?" is the questions I usually get from family when I 'go under.'

And you know you've been wondering, too. Don't lie to me.. Hhhaaa!!

(Go Under: when one has finally had enough of everything on her plate and chooses to go silent into ones own head; contacts no one, talks to no one & basically fills time doing photography, or making their 100th mixed media collage, and/or reading 2-3 books at one time, and always meditating on ones relationship with God (or whatever one chooses to call their higher power)

Pretty much nothing changed life-wise until I finally.... found a job. This is THEE job I thought I had been waiting three years to get. Small law-firm, even though I had no desire to go back to 'law', it was the only profession I had worked nearly all of my adult life.

About 1 month into this new venture, I realized... I had no clue what I was doing. It was hard trying to absorb the chaotic world of 'family law.' You know - the laws that had to made to curtail the behavior of lives falling apart. Divorce, dissolution, child custody, GALs (guardian ad litems for the interest of the children of the lives falling apart), jealousy, flat out hate, abuse, stalking....Damn!

I'll spare you the remainder of the train wreck, but after a short four month stint, they let me go.

Don't cry for me, Argentina; I was relieved to be let go. Yes, I felt such a release at not having to deal with that part of folks' lives and all the horrendous paperwork and meticulous steps that come along with it all. I found I would show up in a great mood and by the end of the day, I was emotionally worn out.

Short story shorter, I'm back to what Joyce Meyer calls "The Silent Years." This the time when: you are alone w/you dreams for the future, and it seems as if nothing at all is happening. You are just waiting and trying not to give up! It may even seem that what is happening to you is leading you in an opposite direction than what you had imagined. This is the season when God prepares to use you in greater and greater ways.

.... and I'm good with that.

Helpless (NaBloPoMo 02/14)

February 2, 2014: "Helpless"
Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

I think I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was let from a job that I had at a church working with disabled men & women. I met all expectations of the job, however, they then wanted me to become a commercial van driver to transport clients.

As I suffer from anxiety, this was completely out of the question. I explained time & time again that I would not feel such taking on such task, yet my words fell on deaf ears. I was called in, given an excellent 90 review, but was released to 'for not having the ability to adapt.'

I never felt more helpless in my life. This is a job where it was constant instant gratification and love. I looked forward to going & drug me feet when time to leave. Anxiety is a real, paralyzing condition and for someone to look at me in such a way really hurt.

The only thing I could do was take it to God, accept it and realize that He has a different path for me. Trusting and believe.

Peace & light :-)

When I think of home

 This time of year reminds of a time long ago. When were mere children that LOVED the sign of snow.

We hung around the radio, listening to WHBC; fingers crossed, wishing, that because of snow, no school there would be

 This was THEE time to gather with friends, for sledding, building forts & snowball to the face (Lol!)

 Now that I am an adult,  I think nothing will ever take that place.

Christmas was coming & Santa was near. Our house filled with presents, fruits, candies, & family so dear

I could go on & on, but don't wanna drone

But these are the things I think, when I think of home.
:o)


Lol! Carry on Tuesday: "when I think of home"
(PS: these pictures are from 3/2011; thank God we haven't seen anything like this - thus far.)

Advent Day Three

Fire of Advent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Edward Hays, A Pilgrim’s Almanac, p. 187

   "Advent, like its cousin Lent, is a season for prayer and reformation of our hearts. Since it comes at winter time, fire is a fitting sign to help us celebrate Advent…If Christ is to come more fully into our lives this Christmas, if God is to become really incarnate for us, then fire will have to be present in our prayer. Our worship and devotion will have to stoke the kind of fire in our souls that can truly change our hearts. Ours is a great responsibility not to waste this Advent time."

The above ornaments are ones I just bought from the WorkShops where my disable son and other talented ladies and gentlemen are employed. They create beautiful things all year round, but  love their gift shop at Christmas time the best. I think this will be my yearly tradition - to purchase a couple of ornaments there. It's for a good cause, it's close to my heart, and all monies go back into the Shops.

My advent fire will be in the form of the tea candles lining the fireplace mantle. :-)

Pictures: me

 

Advent Days One & Two

ad·vent  (dvnt)n.:  The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important.

"Jesus is the reason for this season."

 Okay; since I failed miserably @ listing my daily Thanksgivings, let's see if I can list daily advent thoughts. I am always grateful for so many things but time seems to get away from me.

Day One (12/1/12), I was grateful for:

• the warm December weather that gave me one last chance to put all things summer away
• the help that my son (unwillingly) gave me in bagging leaves, etc. (he had no choice, really :-))
• awesome left over sausage w/peppers spaghetti sauce over pasta
• my attempt at making my own advent tree, failing epically, but coming up w/another idea
• FaceBook for allowing me to keep track of my friend, Lisa's, business trip to Europe (jealousy)

Day Two (12/2/12), I am grateful for:

• deep, relaxing Bible study time in my room in silence (wooooosahhhh)
• all the help "D" gives me, financially, emotionally, etc.
• the two beautiful Christmas ornaments I purchased from the WorkShops where the disabled (including my son) create beautiful art. I think I will make this a yearly tradition. The art is gorgeous and the $$ goes back into the WorkShops
• friends and family
• deciding to keep Christmas decorations at a minimum this year - to focus on the real reason for the season

Namaste :-0)

"Life Is..."

Life is a song - sing it.

Life is a game - play it.

Life is a challenge - meet it.

Life is a dream - realize it.

Life is a sacrifice - offer it.

Life is love - enjoy it.

Here's to 4-1/2 days of vacation :-)

Carry On Tuesday prompt: "Love Is..."
Pictures: me

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller

A person's world is only as big as their heart ~ Tanya A. Moore

He loves me not ~ Tracey :-)

Pictures by: me :o)

Happy Friday, all!! Today, I give you a peek of our Ms. Tuesday Boo-Girl Angel watching her favorite show, "The Back Yardigins." Her intense focus steals my heart. But when she does a little jig & smiles when the music moves her. I pass out from love. Honestly. :-) Take a second to watch & give you day a little happiness, courtesy of Tuesday!

Video: Tuesday's parents

"Morning is the best of all times in the garden. The sun is not yet hot. Sweet vapors rise from the earth. Night dew clings to the soil and makes plants glisten. Birds call to one another. Bees are already at work." ~ William Longgood
 

I love coming out onto the porch or patio in the early morning (before 6 a.m.) and soaking in the quiet. It's when I quiet my mind, listen, then take each moment at a time.

It truly does give my day a peaceful start.

~Namaste :-)

Pictures from my yard by me: royal blue bell, & Gabriel's trumpet, or "moon plant." When the trumpet opened, Mr. Bee was already inside. I believe he just may have spent the night in there. :-)

It just occurred to me that another year anniversary of Kickin' has come and gone... I think. I can't remember when I started, but I know it was around now. Three years ago? It will always amaze me that folks actually read this stuff, but I think it's more my pictures, which I love the most. I'm just a simple girl w/simple thoughts. So I give myself this stellar award for the effort of posting when I remember & have a thought, and to show my appreciation for anyone who stops by. Thanks, folks.

The self-appointed blog award. Isn't it nice?

Yummy, yummy Tuesday-girl :-)

And for this happy celebration, I give you Miss Tuesday @ 5 mos. loving home made baby food - this being spinach. Sweet potatoes are also all that. Isn't she growing by leaps & bounds? She's sitting @ the table in her new big girl chair. There is video of her eating in action; it's so sweet to watch her eat like a trucker. Lol. Major swoon-age. Such a hunk of chunky love.

Pictures: internet & personal

My joy

Tall, handsome & beautifully autistic

This is my son, James. He is my joy because:

• he sees the goodness in everything
• he sees the bright side of everything
• he is honest (painfully - LOL)
• he only wants to please
• he only wants to be part of the team
• he brings happiness to whoever is around him
• he has a child-like vision of the world
• Matthew 18:3: And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
• he is so going to heaven
• he is most polite
• he is most kind
• he is most gentle
• he is always forgiving
• he is always willing to help
• he is always most happy, and when he's not, you have to really dig to find out why
• he made me really grow up immediately at the age of 24 when he was born
• he changed my world view
• he changed my behavior
• he made me let go of any poor thoughts I had of his father, my ex-husband, even though he has no memory of who his father is
• he keeps me even keeled
• he's accepting, even though he may be dissappointed
• he encourages me to buy him things, only because he never asks for anything. But Skittles
•  he thinks every day is a beautiful day & says so every morning
• when I slip a curse word or 2 (or 12), he tells me "it's inappropriate"
• don't let this serious face fool you - he has a smile as big as the sun
• he is unconditional love

Thanks, God. :-)

Picture by: me

Nature Sings

 How about these guys, huh? This was @ the Children's Garden at the park near my house. I love that section of the park; it makes me wish I had a little one so I could see it through their eyes.

But instead I saw it through my own eyes. Kinda like a child's. :-)

 Pictures by: me :-)