Hey! It's November Already!!

Hey folks. Yeah... I'm still here. I've been to this blank page more times than I care to count so let me try to catch up.

I can't begin to put into words how fast time is flying. It really messes w/my head some days. Working crazy shifts back and forth; I usually don't know what day it is, nor the date. Everything is a blur.  AARP Mag. says this:

As I get older, time seems to just fly by. Every year seems shorter. Am I normal? 

That's normal. Blame it on how your brain marks time — through novel experiences that create memories. Growing up, you’re learning and changing and making memories. Then, as an adult, you settle down into a routine, which makes the days, weeks, months and even years start to blur. “When those days don’t change, they meld together until something — such as seeing a friend’s grown child you haven’t seen since age 2 — shocks you back into memory mode,” says British psychologist Claudia Hammond, author of Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception. To keep time from flying by, you need to deliberately create new memories, Hammond explains. “Go somewhere different and do new things this weekend. On Monday, when you look back, the weekend will feel as if it were a longer period of time.” 

Got it? ✔

The summer for me truly flew by. I worked straight thru without vacation. I grew lovely flowers, herbs, tomatoes and sunflowers in pots. Things didn't quite work out like I wished, but I'll try again next year, God willing.

Then it seems the Fall came and went so quickly. We didn't even have Indian Summer!!!! This year we had beautiful color, but lots of wind/rain, so the beauty didn't last for long. I caught what I could.

Fall is my most favorite season to shoot for obvious reasons. 😉

Still working @ and loving the store. June made a year, I got raise. 👍 I have quite a few favorite customers, especially the elderly. I love giving them time and attention. #priceless

Mom entered memory care on August 1st. Still emotional about it even though it is for the very, very best. She has adjusted; it's a nice place for her. We've been going through the process of breaking down her home to put on the market. The sibs and I already have established homes, so we didn't have a need for much of mom's stuff. And I mean she had STUFF! An entire house full of her life to be dismantled. I give ALL props to Sisters #1 and 2 for their hard work on this. We would be lost without them.

This makes me think of my own house full of STUFF! If someone had to do the same for me, they would catch the same type of hell we're catching right now! I think my books and craft things would be enuff to make someone want to strike a match. Oy vey ....

... which brings me to this book I picked up the other day from the library. I'm afraid I "keep" too many things for various sentimental reasons. I really need to let go. In gathering things from mom's, I tried to keep it "down" - only taking what I could use around the house but I took a lot of her books, etc. Just because they once belonged to her.

Alzheimer's is a bitch of a disease. It totally robs folks of their lives & memories. I don't know what stage of life mom is trapped in right now, but she's NOT in the present or even the past few years. We don't know what to talk to her about. The most we can do is listen to her talk of times we know nothing of and agree. We "lost" her nearly four years ago. It's hard. But it's life.

"Better Days"

What else?? 🤔

OH! Remember the Arbor Day Tree Photo Contest I mentioned in my LAST POST OF APRIL? (Sheesh...), well... I WON FOURTH PLACE!!! I was on a natural high for sure! I left the gallery, went straight to bar down the street, bought myself a celebratory drink, sat outside on the patio & enjoyed my few moments of fame. I was SO happy! I looked like this: 😀

Otherwise, that about sums up the past few months. Nothing exciting on the horizon; I wish I could change that but... it is what it is. I've been practicing being ' present in the moment' for the past few days; not racing ahead in my thoughts - not looking back, but being right in the moment. It's a hard practice but it's where God said to meet him - right here/right now. It feels strange, yet peaceful.

We are spiritual beings having human experiences.

Peace.

*All photos by Cuppa"T" Photography (aka: me)

Trybe Strong

Photo by: me

My best friend has breast cancer.

We got together @ her lovely home yesterday, she gave me this lovely journal for a Christmas gift, we talked, laughed, chatted, then she told me.

I'm not ashamed to tell ya - I'm a 'weeper.':

weep·er

ˈwēpər/

noun

1. 1.

   a person who weeps.
2. 2.

   historical

   funeral garments, in particular.

Any of the following moments can open the floodgates for me:

• when I do Bible study/meditation because I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness to God for everything - good and/or bad; 
• when a movie touches my heart
• when folks get hurt, killed, or die (which in today's world would leave me a nasty mess at all times, but there are specifics to this one)
• @ natural disasters because my heart gets overcome by the loss & sadness for others
• when I've had too much drink and the conversation turns sad or deep
• when I think of my mom these days (dementia)
• when I open my heart and receive

But not this time!!! (Huh?) I felt so powerfully faithful for my friend - not one drop of sadness or fear. Why? Because I didn't feel any of those things and 24 hours later, I still don't.

I feel like God has got this like He has everything else under the sun. Not that blessings are based on any type of our merits (cause there's nothing we can do FOR God; he just wants our love and obedience), but this just feels different. I trust God so hard in this situation that I plainly don't have one shadow of a doubt that this will all come out in line with His will, which is that my friend will go over this "speed bump" (her words) on her journey and continue to live her beautiful life.

I have a friend through Facebook that I've never met in person. She's West Coast, I'm Midwest. We exchange snail mail, she knitted me a pair of fingerless gloves just because I mentioned I wanted a homemade pair (WEEP!!!) and she's going thru the valley of breast cancer. When she told me it had returned and metastasized, I cried so hard I couldn't breathe!

But me and THIS woman? No. The only feeling I have is being there for her & her family in the best way I can. She has a huge tribe of family & friends so I'm not real sure where and when I should step in, nor what I should do, but you can bet the farm I will be there. Starting yesterday.

I have a gazillion and two, no wait - three journals, but they all pale in comparison to this one. If not tonight, tomorrow I will start journaling (the goal is daily) in honor of my girl. She bought one for herself one so we can push each other to stay on top of it. She's never journaled so maybe she can learn from me. Because I've always been 'the writer.' If I don't get my words outta my head and heart, I'd be bat shit crazy.

So here's to being part of my girl's "trybe." I've never felt more protective of her or love for her.

I am love, I am light. I am peace. I am Trybe Strong.

Photo by: me ("Blue Skies on Canvas"

Hello December

Photo by: me

Well, hello last month of this year. Seems when we were kids time dragged on eternally. As an adult, you revolve around paychecks/bills so that can really eat up your time. Booo... I'm tired of adulting.

It's Friday night which used to mean a lot 'back in the day.' For school, it was the weekend; as an adult, it was hitting up the clubs or meeting with friends, etc. I work on weekends now (something I've never done in my life) and I'm pretty much solo on the social scene so it's basically another night.

No frets, however. I just made a batch of the coolest Turkey and Spinach Soup. (Note the recipe calls for Kale, but I don't care for Kale - too bitter). I followed the recipe almost to the "T", except I added chicken broth instead of water, added in a green pepper to the veggies and added in a can of Cream of Chicken Soup for thick broth. It's still on the simmer right now, but the house smells great.

I'm a soup lover and in my Midwest neck of the woods when the weather turns, I need something thick and rib-sticking. Canned soups don't do that for me; they're basically a ton of salt & water so I chose to make my own. Last month, I made Chicken Soup and froze them in one serving containers which is what I'll do this time, too. Genius.

Photo by: me

'Tis also the season to decide on my Christmas card. I usually pick a photo I've taken and have them made @ Walmart. I'm thinking this one might make the cut. Today I shopped for myself and my 2 sisters. Sadly a cute little shabby-chic place is closing its doors so I found truly good deals on 'scarf necklaces' for my sisters. Forget that price you see - I got these babies for $4/each!!! Yay, me!

And to make my bedroom look just a tad less trashy, I picked this up for myself. It's tough when your bedroom is your office, studio, meditation, reading and guitar practice room. It's not a pretty place, but I'm surrounded by all things I love so.... you know.. whatever.

Otherwise, life continues to ebb and flow. Most times I'm upbeat and other times I 'go under' and feel melancholy. At those times, I'm quiet, I read a lot and do things that don't involve seeing or talking to anyone. I keep social media at arm's length as well because when I'm down, I don't need to see that shit.

I'm still 'pickin' and a grinnin' (any "Hee-Haw" fans out there?) on my beautiful guitar. My fingertips hurt but it's a good hurt. A learning hurt. After I learned a playing pattern, I did chords that changed the sound and almost wept with accomplishment! 😀 Not ready to go on tour yet, but it's coming!

Photo by: me OF me 

So until next time dear friends (or you who read this). I believe it's time for soup.

Catch Up

Self  Reflection

Actually, there isn't a whole lot to catch up on.

Spring is here and everything is in bloom; folks putting out flowers. Since my flower budget is 'nil', I did seeds again. They're actually popping up after only 2 weeks, so that makes me happy.

I decided flower/veggie seeds truly teach you patience. They grow on their own time and there's not a damn thing you can do about.

Still nothing' happening on the employment. I go thru phases of wondering if I'm not trying hard enough, to "eff it." I can only continue the search & be patient. Like flower seeds.....🌺🌻🌼

Aside from doing art, I've been reading everything in sight. Here are a few I can remember right now:

This one was a HUGE message about compassion/care/love of the homeless. I loved it.

Always loved reading about life in the Appalachians. Good statistics and how a young guy persevered. Good read.

Mothers, daughters, and dysfunction. Quick, easy read.

Lastly, having always been fascinated by slavery, this was the best I've read in a long time. Brutal and right in your face. I never fail to learn something new each time I approach this subject.

Otherwise, I'm just trying to be in a good place, mentally; physically & spiritually. Creating art & shooting pix brings me back to my happy place.

It takes focus off of self.

And provides patience.

Just like flower seeds.

"Combo Platter": Molding paste, stencils, acryllic paints, little extras 

It's March 23rd Already???

(Blowing in the mic - "IS THIS THING ON??")

*crickets chirping* 👀

Well, apparently I've laxed the entire month of February and a good chunk of March. I can't tell you how many times I've come here, sat in front of a blank page, then left. Seems like it's so difficult to put my thoughts into words.

I've come to the conclusion that time truly flies when it revolves around bills and pay days. How unfair is that?

Unemployed - still, but not sweating it.

My sister and I have been getting into different art mediums. She's doing free hand painting on canvas; I turned her onto You Tube videos and there she went. Now - like me - when she can't sleep, she goes to her craft room and creates in the night. She changed her master bedroom into her work room so the amount of space she has is cray-cray. I hate her.......😝

I've been trying molding paste (aka Joint Compound I found in my basement) on canvas. This woman is my new true love. She makes everything look SO easy.

And here's my first attempt pre-sanding/painting.

First attempt

I love the texture and cannot wait to get started on another. One thing I have to learn to do is stop acting like I HAVE to be just like online artists. It's all experimental; playing around to see how things come out. I need to trust my inner-play and just let go of rules.

Here is another piece I started with bleeding tissue paper on canvas. I ADORE the texture it gives and the colors POP! I got the dried 'things' from outside off my Black-Eyed Susan bush that lives like this thru the winter until it re-blooms. It's sitting aside until I can figure out what's next with it.

They stay put thanks to the almighty Mod Podge & Elmers Spray Glue.

The plan is to have a garden this year. I have abundant sunshine now (since 'the tree' incident) and plenty of space so why not? Our local library has a free seed give away to encourage folks to grow their own food - I am SO all in. I grew up with a garden and have always loved planting, nurturing, growing then eating food grown right outside the door.

I used to have a blog page several years ago called "If I Plant It, It Will Grow." I documented my tiny garden from beginning to end. It was lots of fun. I think I will do that again, but I'll keep it to just this page - trying to keep 2 blogs going was quite a bit to chew.

Other than that - everything is still everything. I have more to say, but my eyes are growing tired.

Until next time!!! 👅

Getting to know 'Mat"

After reading way too much about it & not doing anything about it, I finally decided to get to know "Mat."

She's nice. Comfortable. Long & squishy.

While she's beautiful to look at, she supports my efforts and encourages me to keep going.

I love being with her in the morning and evening.

Moving into beginner positions, trying to not breathe like a wild dog in heat. 😬

I want this to become of my daily routine. Pushing muscles that I haven't used in years.

I'm much more motivated to do this at home as opposed to signing up for a class. Plus, I can't afford a class right.

And, I really like Adrienne as an instructor. She's pretty cool.

My Photo

My Photo

Namaste.

Standing w/Standing Rock

"The protesters want to see construction of the pipeline halted entirely and its route changed. They point to a rising number of pipeline accidents in recent years as evidence that they are right to be concerned about the safety of their water source. 

“These pipelines are often seeping or leaking in small places, and we don’t have any way to detect them,” Doug Hayes, a staff attorney at the Sierra Club, told The Huffington Post in September. “These are the types of concerns the tribes have, and they’re, frankly, very well-founded.”
Such concerns were part of the reason why the pipeline’s original route, which passed near Bismarck, the state’s capital, was abandoned.
The tribe and its supporters also believe they were not properly consulted concerning the project’s effect on sacred sites and burial grounds."

Now... THIS pisses me off more than the disappointment I felt when 'the new Sheriff' got elected. Haven't the Natives been fucked with enough?

One would think so.

2015

I've been needing to get stuff out of my head into this space for such a while, that now I can't put words together! It's good to be back in my little piece of the world after being offline since mid-November. To catch up: Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day and Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Now, back to me. Lol.

Things are going along, with or without me. The status of my house is still in the air. I've worried myself over it so long that I've just given it to God. Worrying doesn't fix or add anything to the situation. Actually, I've come to a calming peace about it.

March 23rd was three years that I've been out of work. I won't dwell on that one right now.

Mom is becoming increasingly forgetful, which is good considering she's 82 years. I cannot put into words the way I feel about watching her lose herself. She also seems increasingly sad. I mean she was never a happy person anyway, but now she can't find the joy in anything.

I'm very patient with her though. She may ask the same question 4 times w/in 20 minutes, but it's okay. She's still beautiful and still getting around, so there is much to be thankful for.

I've been reading TONS of books and magazines over these months. I should've made a list to share. I picked up this little cutie; it so fits me :-)

Spring has arrived!! I already see signs of plants returning after a brutal cold winter. It's always amazing how God does everything in His own time. There is a time and season for everything, and He's always right on time. "To everything turn, turn, turn........"

Peace & light.

Making a Deposit

How do we make deposits to our souls? By making time for things that are important to us. Hang out with our girlfriends. We can go and check out a new coffee shop. Read a book. Read the Bible. Spend quiet time alone with God, and go to church. How about going to get our nails done? Pray. Pray a lot. We could even turn our cellphones off for a change. Wait, what did I just say? Yes, we could turn our cells off. Listen to worship music. Take a drive. Except compliments and blessings without feeling guilty about it, and learn to quote scripture. By soul searching we can come to realize how much we need these things. - See more at: http://www.backroadsliving.com/soul-searching/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BackRoadsLiving+%28Back+Roads+Living%29#sthash.BiyavzHW.dpuf

I love this article I found at "Back Roads Living. It makes so much sense to take time to deposit into our souls. After a very whirlwind week with my continuing job search, today I felt completely spent. I am not sure if it is the action of the week, or that I haven't been consuming food as I regularly should. I spent several hours laying in bed reading this wonderful book. A deposit for the soul, indeed.

“There was a time in Africa the people could fly. Mauma told me this one night when I was ten years old. She said, “Handful, your granny-mauma saw it for herself. She say they flew over trees and clouds. She say they flew like blackbirds. When we came here, we left that magic behind.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Invention of Wings: A Novel

How do we make deposits to our souls? By making time for things that are important to us. Hang out with our girlfriends. We can go and check out a new coffee shop. Read a book. Read the Bible. Spend quiet time alone with God, and go to church. How about going to get our nails done? Pray. Pray a lot. We could even turn our cellphones off for a change. Wait, what did I just say? Yes, we could turn our cells off. Listen to worship music. Take a drive. Except compliments and blessings without feeling guilty about it, and learn to quote scripture. By soul searching we can come to realize how much we need these things. - See more at: http://www.backroadsliving.com/soul-searching/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BackRoadsLiving+%28Back+Roads+Living%29#sthash.BiyavzHW.dpuf

"Meal"

I'm an old fashioned chick. I LOVE to cook. I'm not too keen on eating a huge meal, but I love watching others enjoy. I think the detail of marinating, chopping, slicing, dicing, mashing, steaming, frying & making a good presentation of dinner is important. No matter how menial it is, I try to make it look 'pleasing.' Plus, it gives me time to sip a cocktail and go inside my own thoughts w/no interruption. Bliss.

Old fashioned cornbread from cornmeal. Cast iron is the best.

Two boxes of Pumpkin bread mix I didn't know existed.

Hand "smashed' potatoes w/garlic, pepper & butter

Steamed Brussel sprouts. I am addicted. Lightly buttered w/parsley

Crunchy skin courtesy of a touch of Balsamic vinegar marinade.

Sunday Scribblings prompt: "meal"
Internet courtesy

Sunday

Being thankful for quiet days....

"When I give you no special guidance, stay where you are. Concentrate on doing your everyday tasks in awareness of My Presence with you.  The Joy of My Presence will shine on you, as you do everything for Me. Thus you invite Me into every aspect of your life.  Through collaboration with Me in all things, you allow My Life to merge with yours. this is the secret not only of joyful living but also of victorious living. I designed you to depend on Me moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Me you can do nothing.

Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening.  Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My Face.  Although this is an invisible transaction, it speaks volumes in spiritual realms.  Moreover, you are richly blessed when you walk trustingly with Me through the routines of your day."

Jesus Calling, April 13th, Colossians 3:23; John 15:5 & Psalm 105:4

This touched me in such a way - I'm always "concerned" about not knowing if I'm "doing what I should be doing." This reading told me that it's okay to not always be "in action", but to be thankful for quiet days. And also to use the "I'm bored" times to turn my attention fully to Jesus. This was right on time. Thank you, Sweet Heavenly Father.

Sunday Community

A Spring Walk

Well, imagine our surprise waking up to a winter wonderland Monday morning!!! It was soooo beautiful; you couldn't help but be thrilled even though everyone's awaiting "Spring" weather.

I grabbed the camera & walked until my shoes, socks & jeans were soaked. I still could've kept going, but I was starting to lose feeling in my toes! (LOL!)

God's work is beautiful, indeed. He will bring on "spring" weather exactly when it's time. Not one before. And certainly not one minute after.

Happy Spring, my friends.