To: Tracey (17 years)
From: Tracey (47 years)
Dear Tracey,
it's me, you at 47! doesn't that sound funny? considering you stare @ yourself & wonder what on EARTH you will look like @ 25-30. Don't worry; you still look okay. In fact, you probably look better because you have that 47 year old confident look of being relaxed in your skin & you still have your big smile w/all of your real teeth! Yay!
In spite of how flawed you find yourself right now, you are in the best health right now that you'll ever be. Pay attention, treat your body right w/only good things, cherish your perky boobs & your flat belly...
Here are 40 randoms I wanna share w/your for your future:
- Go to college. Study to be a nurse or something that will always be in demand. That way later when the economy goes to hell in a handbasket, you'll always be able to find work;
- College will also give you exposure you sorely need. Since you flew totally under the radar @ all thru school & kept socializing to a min, you NEED to be surrounded w/all types of new, young life. When did you get so shy?
- Get a goal. I know you could never decide on what to do w/your future all throughout your school years, but you need something to work toward
- Forget young men right now. I know you think you'll die if you don't have {fill in the blank}. You won't die; one day you'll turn 47...
- No matter how you think you feel & how you have felt, you have not been in love
- When you move to California @ 19 w/sister, Sharon, grow up & don't be so dependent on her. Use her as an example & use her resources to further yourself growth-wise.
- While living in L.A., learn & soak up all of the culture & history of such a beautiful place as opposed to how you look, where you go, what stars you see or compare yourself to people. Hell, it's Los Angeles - there will be a lot of beautiful women in a thongs & roller blades that will make you feel like 2-ton tina, which will drive you to eat an entire 6-pk of Klondike Bars. Get over it
- When you end up working @ a pretty cool ins. co. in Glendale & living in Burbank, buckle down & seriously save for a car. You could've taken classes & advanced yourself @ work if you had a car to get to classes...
- You're gonna end up meeting a guy. You shouldn't marry him but you do. It sucks & doesn't last cause you're both too young & selfish, but you do have a beautiful baby.
- And believe it or not - in all the time you dreamed of leaving your hometown, you end up taking your child & going right back
- You'll realize that your mother is just a woman. Just like you. She has hopes, fears, dreams, etc. And she was young & stupid like you. Make sure you listen to her mama-wit
- Even though you always thought your step-father was satan, after he dies, you realize he was the last of the 'real men.' Men who stand up for themselves; say what's on their mind & basically aren't wimps.
- Your child is mentally disabled, but you hang in there & do what you have to do. He turns out to be a fine young man
- You actually buy a house! You could've never done it in L.A.
- You'll be lonely & bored. However, please take your time & find a man that you can love w/all your heart. One you can talk to, dream with, pray with, cry with, worship with, & laugh with. This is very, very important
- Choose who gets to love you. If they choose you, it should be mutual. If not, go the other way
- You're going to be in a very long relationship (20 years so far). And the only thing you'll have from #15 is laughing. Sometimes.
- Always own up to your mistakes
- YOU are the only one who can make you happy. No matter who or what you wanna blame - the ball's in your court
- No matter what relationship you're in; make everything clear up front.
- Face everything head-on no matter what & get it over with. Crap you sweep under the rug always comes back & bites you right in the ass no matter how far down the road it is
- Try everything you have ever thought you'd wanna try; water color, play guitar, etc.
- Along the way, you'll find that you have an emotional wall built around you. Nobody really gets in & you really don't get out. Learn now that you need to let go of all things negative & Let. God.
- No matter where you work - stay WAY clear of gossip. It sucks just like in school
- You'll eventually stop drinking beer & wine. And guess what? After all these years of thinking it was cool - it's not. And you don't even miss it
- Surround yourself w/positive, energetic people. It wears off onto you
- Stop smoking. Now.
- You'll be a hopeless romantic & will always dream of living 'the classic love story'
- Stay current w/your dental & doctor visits. You'll be glad you did
- Always own your own place to live so no one can put you out of it
- Always be self-sufficient
- Be nice to everyone you meet - always. You never know what battle they may be fighting
- In spite of how jaded you are about relationships (cause you never learned how to have one), deep down, you really would like to be a wife again, in a healthy marriage
- Get into a hobby(ies) & let them be your outlets. Socialize, socialize, socialize
- You've always known God; get closer to him. Now
- Don't take so long to give your son credit in his disability. Skip that whole depression period you'll have about him & get right to the good part - letting him be who he is. You'll be less of a whinny bitch & the sun will rise & shine the next day. Besides, it's not about you
- Do whatever makes you and only you happy.
- Be nice to yourself; you're only human
- listen to 2 things: a) that 'voice' that you don't really hear out loud, but tells you the obvious loud & clear - listen to it. It's both God & common sense, and b) when you stomach feels like somebody punched you in it - follow it. It's your instinct & it's usually 99.9% right
- don't be afraid to l-i-v-e!
Courtesy pic of D. & T. Ross~Essence magazine
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