Thursday, November 20, 2014

Holy crap; Holidays are coming

I am one of the folks who puts so much pressure on themselves for the holidays that I truly go numb. I mean numb like my anxiety reaches such a height that I don't have room for one other thought. Here are my bullet points so I'll keep it short.
  • I'm not working (still)
  • Bills (what else is new)
  • Christmas shopping on extremely limited funds
  • Having my mother over for Thanksgiving (she barely eats anything & last year kept her coat on - SCREAM!!!)
  • This causes me to drink more wine than usual
  • Cooking Thanksgiving dinner (when I'm panicked, I can't focus & cook my best)
  • This causes me to drink more wine than usual
  • What to get for James (son) for Christmas - especially w/very limited funds
  • My sister's annual Ohio State v. Michigan game (great company, great food, but WAY too much alcohol consumed by all, especially the Sig.Other (sigh...........))
  • This makes me not want to attend, but I will... which will cause me to drink more wine than usual. :-)
Then on the other hand, I long for the families and the commercials showing everyone gathering for the holidays, laughing, exchanging gifts & having a good time. All the way down to the perfect Christmas decorations by Pier One. Lol.

I would like to enjoy the holidays in these ways:

"Christmas by Pier 1"

"A calm, happy, normal Thanksgiving"; and

"A nice, elegant New Years"
I told mom that I wish our family had traditions we adhered to yearly. She told me to star my own traditions. What is she trying to do, give me a stroke? Lol. But.... if I want it, it has to start with me. And that would cause me to drink more wine that usual. :-)

Photographs via the Internet

NaBloPoMo, Day 20

I'm just joining in at Day 20; don't ask me why I'm so late because I truly won't have an answer. Lol.

"Do you have a book in you? Fact or fiction? Related to your blog or totally different?
For as much as I love to write, I don't have any type of book that would be worth publishing inside of me. In fact, it's more like an ongoing daydream as I'm a hopeless romantic. You know - like some sort of Hallmark movie. It's completely different from my blog.
I'm always dreaming of:
  • Living in a big, beautiful, old farmhouse
  • with a big, strapping beautiful man
  • who absolutely could not live without me
  • and me without him
  • he chops wood for our fire places
  • he builds anything from nothing
  • he raises goats to keep the grass down on our acreage
  • we hold hands & go for long walks
  • we snuggle in front of the fire place
  • and then we live happily ever after  and all that shit
See? There is no book inside me.
Just dreams.
"me and he"

Saturday, November 15, 2014

High Anxieties

Having a bit (well, actually a shit load) of anxiety at everything going on right now. I'm finding it very hard to keep my mind still. I had all these things I was going to list, but thought that would be a buzz-kill, so I'll just hold it in (not good).

I will give thanks for another day and all that comes with because as we were taught, 'someone is having a rougher go at it than I am.'

I'm thankful that my resume was noticed @, even though the job turned out to be in another City. (Scream). At least it's "out there", huh?

I'm thankful for the load of golden leaves about 2 feet deep on my patio. I know everyone rushes to rake, but I like 'walking through the golden."

Otherwise, I'll keep trying to hang in there.

Seagulls @ the park

Saturday, October 11, 2014

God's Pallette

Hey there! It's been a little while. I cannot believe we are on our 11th day of October!!! Time truly does fly. Such a cliché phrase, yet so apparent.

We're having color changes here in Ohio; some trees are brilliant, yet some still hold onto their summer greens. I am fascinated each year at God's Pallette.

Peaceful, bright Westlawn Cemetery. Bliss.

Things going on in my life right now:
  • Been on a few job interviews to no avail :-(. Trusting in God and practicing patience
  • Praying on doubting myself. After each failed interview, a little piece of my 'worth' feels stripped away
  • Praying strongly that my mortgage company can work w/me on keeping my house
  • Praying strongly that we can find a soft place for my mother to land. Her house is being sold,  she has to be uprooted. This is such a tender matter for me. I'm more worried about her well-being than I am for myself. She is 81 years old, after all. I never imagined dealing with this and seeing the truly 'elderly' in mom. Makes my heart ache
  • I haven't been able to get to stylist in months!!! Trying not to look like 'Grandma Moses'; Lol!!

Mini 'Burning Bush'
And that is about all I have going on. I'm 'living the dream'. :-)

Friday, August 29, 2014

August Break 9/28/14 ~ Something New

I am a "new to me" junkie.

When I found this treasure, my face lit up.

Can the price be beat?

It's calling for a bunch of fresh cuts.

August Break 2104 word prompt: "something new"