We received the Special Olympics monthly newsletter of happenings for the month of October; lots 'n lots of dances, parties, get-togethers. My son wants nothing to do with any of it.
Socializing isn't real high on the autistic list - at least not on my son's list it isn't. If it were any type of sport function, he would be right in it. When the Special Olymp. has its car wash fundraisers, he's interested in that, but a dance? With the female species??? It's not gonna happen.
My son wears shyness like a hat. It's very hard for him to make eye-contact and he usually puts his head down. As much as he loves being around his teammates, he rarely talks, but instead, wears a huge smile, which means he's having a good time. He likes being a part of the crowd, but not participate with the crowd (unless it's sports). Having grown up with these guys, they know this. So they appreciate his quiet smiles & laughs.
Even though he'll be 23 next month, Son's shyness keeps him from speaking up, reaching out, joining in; I literally put his monies in his hand to make him pay for his purchases, I make him check out his own library books, I make him speak to all family @ gatherings, I make him speak for himself @ doctor visits. One day this may become easy for him, but in the meantime, it almost seems painful .
Back nearly 10 years ago when his neurologist used the word "retarded" and told me to make long term arrangements , it was a slap in the face. I preferred to call him 'slow', but things are what they are. Once I accepted the reality of possibly having my son with me for all of our lives, I didn't think to ask the doctor one question:
"Yes, doctor, but will he ever dance?"
Only time will tell.
Only time will tell.
Maybe with you first Mom. Then, maybe later with other females or that one special female someday. You never know exactly what is in store.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Sharon
my sisters are 50 years old, twins... oh and when they dance I am thrilled beyond words and just when I think they will keep dancing they stop, yes it is what it is, but my what a treat when they dance even if it is just a side short momentary path.
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