Friday, September 7, 2012

“Yesterday, I cried.

I came home, went straight to my room,

sat on the edge of my bed,

kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,

and I had myself a good cry.”

And the day before yesterday, and yesterday, I did cry. My 47 year old neighbor was found dead by her 25 year old daughter. Everyone on our tiny little street came out to the sound of hysterical screaming. We huddled together & watched the train wreck in slow motion wash over our tiny street in the blur of police, ambulance, fire trucks and finally, the Coroner's Van. It was a totally emotional moment that filled my face full of hot, sad tears. We had feuded years ago, but made peace in the last 5+ years. Unlike when we first met, she always had kind, sweet words for me. When she used to plant flowers, she would always bring me her extras. It was a healed wound.

We were the Hatfield and McCoys in the beginning and we took plenty of harrassment at the hands of her & her family. On the sacred day of 9/11, we were @ the Prosecutor's office settling a complaint we had made against them. When the topic comes up of 'where were you when?', I can always say, at the Prosecutor's office. The court got the news during our mediation, came in w/ashen faces & told us all to go home. When we got home & turned on the TV - the Twin Towers were falling. I remember saying, 'is this a movie so early in the morning?'

Earlier this evening, I needed forgiveness & closure. I went right next door & made peace with all of the friends/family that I had ever given a mean voice to. While grandchildren played, laughed & screamed with the sweet innocence of not really knowing what was going on, they accepted my forgiveness, hugged me & told me: you know, Tracey, she always loved you.

I know she did because she told me so and I told her the same. My soul has never felt so free. And I thank dear God for giving her peace, at last.

Rest in Peace, Penny.

Picture: me


2 comments:

  1. Oh Tracey, I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor. So young! It's always sad when someone dies but I think even more so when it's so sudden because there's no time for a good-bye. How appropos of you to weave 9/11 into your post since it's next Tuesday and it's a poignant, sad reminder of how we should all get along no matter what.

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    Replies
    1. Good day Chris, my friend. Thanks for your kind words. I was/am very, very sad for my poor neighbor. And more sad for her daughter who seems so lost without her mama. I agree about getting along, which is also why I wanted to ask for forgiveness of her daughter who I once spoke horribly to. She's the same age as my son - what am I doing trading terrible words with a 'child.' So yes; Penny's sudden death makes me want to keep the peace with all - there is simply no reason to harbor hard feelings against others when we wake each day with a new clean slate. I will not live that way another day. Peace & comfort to you, friend.

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