Friday, July 2, 2010

Trapped inside.....


Have you ever had something inside of you that you feared, or knew what you wanted to say, but just didn't quite know how to say it, or knew what you wanted to say, but feared the repercussions?

Imagine the mind of an autistic child. This guy here is my son & he is autistic. A trait of my son's disability is not the fact that he doesn't take anything in. It's quite the opposite; he takes everything in, however, he doesn't know how to process it outloud. I mean he talks - we talk all the time, but I know down inside of him that there is so much going .

I took these pix on one of our walks earlier this week. He was fixated on the sun dancing off the ripples in the water. I didn't give it a second thought at the time; I just loved the way the light danced off his face. But clearly, his mind was elsewhere.

The next day after her returned home from his job, he seemed very 'out of sorts'. After a lot of talking & coaxing, I found out he was being bullied at his work by fellow workers. As I pulled (literally) the truth from him, he began to shed huge crocodile tears as he spoke of being hit, his lunch being taken, name calling. Can you imagine these beautiful brown eyes shedding tears? Tears don't come often for him. He has no reason to have them. He's rarely is without a smile on his face at all times.

Well, to spare all the R-rated version of the resolution of the situation the next morning when I took myself down to his job, let's just say changes were made immediately.

Yesterday, my son came home much more at ease, calm, happy & full. I still feel sad, however, at how long my beautiful boy must've endured sadness before he finally hit the edge enuff to let it all go.

And it makes me wonder if all that was on his mind while I was taking pictures of the light dancing on his face.

1 comment:

  1. Children with disability are so often ignored, misunderstood, misinterpreted. Your son is fortunate to have you in his corner as his advocate. You go mom!

    ReplyDelete

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