No Fairy Tales

I can remember stories, those things my mother said
She told me fairy tales, before I went to bed
She spoke of happy endings, then tucked me in real tight
She turned my night light on, and kissed my face good night
My mind would fill with visions, of perfect paradise
She told me everything, she said he'd be so nice
He'd ride up on his horse and, take me away one night
I'd be so happy with him, we'd ride clean out of sight
She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie
She never said that maybe, someday he'd say goodbye

The story ends, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - of fairy tales.

She spoke about happy endings, of stories not like this
She said he'd slay all dragons, defeat the evil prince
She said he'd come to save me, swim through the stormy seas
I'd understand the story, it would be good for me
You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold

My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales.

I don't look for pie up in the sky, baby
Need reality, now, said I
Don't feel the need to be pacified, don't cha try
Honey, I know you lied

You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold
I found no magic potion, no horse with wings to fly
I found the poison apple, my destiny to die
No royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin
My fantasy is over, my life must now begin

My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales.


I can't take credit for these words - this is from the great Anita Baker. As soon as I saw the topic, this song popped into my mind. I love it for it's words - we DO grow up believing in these things only to find out they don't always come true. Take a listen if you get a chance - it's a beautiful song.

Picture by: me :)
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "fairy tale"

"Quiet Signs" Friday

"I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind." ~ Albert Einstein

Happy Friday, all. Have safe, restful, warm weekends! :-)

Thankful Thursday

Good Thankful Thursday morning, all. I am thankful, always, however, I'm feeling a life-change coming on, so I have no more words than to say: Thank you. I am looking into finding new employment as I believe I have gone as far as I can go at my present job. The only way to change that is to be proactive, so the resumes will be sent. I don't know what will happen, but I feel confident that God will guide my path - if I take the first step.

Prayers & stay thankful.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." ~Author Unknown

Pictures by: me
Even though our temps are in the 30's with a threat of the dreaded snow tomorrow, I was still able to find "pre-winter" beauty.

Same Ole Story

I read this cool list today that suggested: "go back one year in your blog & see where your head was compared to now." One year ago, I talked about homelessness here. Nothing has changed in this year with me on that matter. It still holds a soft spot in my heart.

I still sneak $ & friendship to Nelson @ the library when I see him, which hasn't been since summer. He always asks if I still have the 'very valuable rock' he gave me. I do. There has always been another guy there, too, that I've never mentioned. He's always reading the newspapers from all over the world. And he always has coffee so I slip the $ & tell him to have his next coffee on me. He always smiles, thanks & blesses me & whispers "miracle, miracle."

Then over the weekend leaving the grocery, I saw an elderly gent w/several bags & a cardboard sign slowly making his way up the boulevard.

Sigh & prayers. So, I guess my head is in the same place as last year on this note. And I'm sure it will still be next year, God willing & the creek don't rise! :-)

Pictures by: me :-}
Lower picture is the side of a building in the Arts District, Downtown

Joy

Even though it's raining now, the first 2 pictures are from this early morning. It's amazing how the weather changes. As you can see, my Mighty Willow still bears leaves in December, so hopefully, that means winter will be kind to us.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this before, but I was offered an opportunity to shoot pictures for a local website connected to our newspaper. I came by this when I entered a daily photo challenge & the editor asked me if I would be interested in shooting outside of the contest.

Swoon.

However, after many emails & a meeting with the editor, I found myself overwhelmed by the offer. He wanted me to; get myself set up & connected to a lot of the networks out there (Twitter, & about 5 others), get my own domain, drive here, drive there, take this, take that. This would not be for pay, but for photo credit.

After thinking on it for a few, I decided that I can't handle all that he is asking. I am truly flattered that he likes my stuff, but I do work 8 hours a day, I do have a relationship, & I do have a son deeply involved in sports.

The editor, who is a super nice guy, told me he would be open to any ideas I have of what I would like to shoot, and if I were consistent, he would give me my own link at the site. He then gave me his card & told me once that happened, I would have business cards as well.

Now this sounds like a blessing of all blessings, but I cannot agree to something that would wear me so thin. I would nearly have to be childless, jobless & single to pull off what he's asking.

I would like to do this, but it has to be on my time. I would rather do my own thing & let him post it @ his site & he give me a shout-out, but it can't be "a job." He was very interested when I mentioned I wanted to shoot the historical churches in our city. And he asked me to be on the look out for "peace poles" to shoot :-). I guess they are very rare & scattered about the County.

Photography is a huge source of my joy. I am never less than super grateful when folks comment on my pictures. I am blessed to always see a picture somewhere, in every thing, every day, all day.

Pictures by: me (the last 3 are of the Art District Downtown & ones I have submitted to the "398" Photo Challenge.)
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "joy"

Mom vs Mom

I have never had the pleasure of being a stay @ home mother. From the very moment my son was born, even though I was married, the entire responsibility fell on me. When I became a single parent, it was full fledge work till you drop.

I had the schedule that millions of single parents all over the world have of rising extra early to get both yourself & your child ready for work/day care; dropping off your child and making it to work on time. Then at the end of the day, you had that schedule in reverse, only once you got home, there was dinner, dishes, laundry, homework, baths, & some type of rushed quality time.

I use to use my vacation days just to stay home. Not go on a trip, not to do anything but be home when my son came home. Or, to take the day running errands while everyone was at work, then pick my son up casually and have dinner ready when he got home. I sacrificed years of vacation trips just to stay home with my child.

And for good Lord's sake, don't let me even start on snow days or school closing days - the mad scramble to hurry & squeeze your child into a morning slot when they're on after school only was like trying to get into the White House, uninvited. Uggghh...

I told a friend this morning, my mother (who was a stay @ home mom) always said this: "if everybody would live within their means, they could be stay at home mothers, but they have to live in this type of house, in this type of place, their child has to have every whim they can dream up & the parents struggle to give it to them, the kids have to attend this type of school, they have to have this type of clothes, the parents have to have this kinda car & that kinda truck – so yes, everybody in the house DOES have to work because they let their wants lead their needs.”

Of course she said this years ago before the world went to hell in said hand basket & employment fell off the face of the earth. And I am supposing this counts for married women and/or men who have each other as back-up, but us single women, there is no staying home, unless you work from home.

But Son & I survived. When after school care costs became too much, I had to teach Son to let himself in the house after school. Then I had to sit @ work for the next 2 hours & wonder exactly WHAT was he doing at home alone? I've come home to empty cookie jars, entire 6-packs of pop being gone, keys broke off in the lock, etc, etc., etc.

Cheers to both types of moms, but if I had a chance, I'd still rather be a stay @ home mom.

Investigate

I truly believe that

• you can't change the past
• you cannot go back and undo what was once done
• you cannot go back & pull years back into line
• there are no do overs
• there are only start-overs
• that beauty lies all around us
• that you have to allow yourself to see it
• that if you've come from a bad experience & made it through to the other side
• that you have to live each new day in appreciation & glory
• that if you hold onto the past, that is where you will stay
• that if you refuse to grow into the future, the future will go on without you
• that if you don't want to try anything new, you will become old
• that if you don't ever trust, you will never be free
• that if you don't love yourself, you will never be able to love another
• that if you allow words to define you
• unless they are positive words - you will become them
• that if you don't investigate your inner self & be fully present in each moment of your life
  
• that you are merely waiting to die

Pictures by: me :-)
Written with mom in mind
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "Investigate"

Quiet Signs Friday

"Always keep your mind as bright and clear as the vast sky, the great ocean, and the highest peak, empty of all thoughts. Always keep your body filled with light and heat. Fill yourself with the power of wisdom and enlightenment." ~ Morihei Ueshiba

This is my submission today to the "398' project. This beauty is in front of the main branch of our local library. It's titled "Enlightenment." Fittingly so, eh? :-) Happy Friday, all. Chill out & bask in the memory of the Thanksgiving holiday.

Thankful & blessed

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action. ~W.J. Cameron

In all of my Thanksgiving hostess obsessing, the evening turned out to be very lovely. As usual, it was a lot of fret for no reason. Don't you hate when you clean your ass off - taking extra care on the bathroom & nobody ever uses it?!?! (LOL!)

My guest list was diminished greatly, so I ended up with only two guests. One sister was out of state; the other wanted to relax @ her beautiful home -her first Thanksgiving in her new house; one brother had the flu; one brother ate with his lady friend, & the other brother ate w/his lady friend & her mother.

So that left mom and her gentleman friend. I'm so glad I didn't prepare as much as I thought I would have to.


It came out to be just enough with plenty for left overs. Maybe try some turkey soup? Mmm..

Even though mom ate less than a bird & pushed her food around her plate....

.... and her gentleman friend nearly ate all of the pecan pie...

... I was glad to thankfully share what I had. Son said the entire meal was "awesome!"

Then "D" had to go into work in the evening, so that left me blissfully alone basking the glow of having shared & being blessed. I put on jazz, & enjoyed the lingering scents of dinner, the pumpkin spice candles, the Fall leaves I scattered about, then thanked God for a sweet Thanksgiving, indeed.

Always thankful :-)

Compassionate Acts

"What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind. " ~Cleveland Amory

Have you ever met anyone in your life who is so filled with compassion & concern for the well-being of others that it just blows you away? I am proud to say that I am blessedly fortunate to know such a person.

Her name is Se'Lah. In knowing her, I have learned to inhale, exhale, forgive, let go, be still, be calm, to touch the waters, to take the focus off myself, reach out, reach in, let go of the fear of death, and understand the meaning of the word 'impermanence." She has taught me to value myself, that I am beautiful, worthy, talented & deserve nothing but the best. Oh - and that there is truly only One. Love.

Helluva woman, isn't she? Now, again, Se'Lah is focusing on others. In particular, those who are battling (or have battled) that spooky disease called c-a-n-c-e-r. This word has frightened me for years! At the age of 12, I watched my grandmother deteriorate in front of my very eyes & leave this earth due to cancer. So won't you join "Se'Lah's Angels" by doing a simple random act of kindness for these precious folks who have been visited by this ilness?

Please click on the button @ the right and see how simple it is. You will be SO, SO happy that you did. And the person on the receiving end will treasure your thoughts & prayers more than you could imagine.

One love.

Eat Pray Love

"We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning." ~ Anonymous

I finally sat down & watched Eat Pray Love last nite, and boy was I moved. I'm still reflecting on it this morning:

• I admired the way she prayed for guidance about her being unhappy in her marriage and had the strength to end it, even though she & her husband were still in love. She felt she needed more in spite of it, and had the courage to let it go
• I admired the way she stepped way out of her comfort zone by traveling to an unfamiliar place
• I admired the way she shed layers and appreciated the customs of those she was around and made those her family
• I admired her concern for others in the way she asked her friends to not shower her w/material birthday gifts, but make a donation to those who were in distress in the country where she learned to pray (which equaled $18,000.00)
  
• I ADORED the tiny little wise man who taught her how to open her heart & how she kept returning to him
• I admired her friendship with the American man @ the ashram who also opened, forgave himself & returned to America to face his demons
• I loved her 'quiet place' in Bali where she was faced with raw, true, open matters of the heart
• I loved the Brazilian man whom she finally trusted to love, even though they were both afraid to love & were trying to protect their hearts

I believe I just admired the whole pattern of the movie; letting go, opening up & living your true life. It made me wonder what's 'out there' for me if I would jump of the cliff of faith & allow God to truly give me the life he wants for me. I know it has to be what God would want because the message was 'freeing.' I don't think I realize what a box I've created for myself. As I absorbed the movie, I felt various parts of me screaming out to be free.

Screaming out for me to give meaning to my life.