Sunday, February 2, 2014
Helpless (NaBloPoMo 02/14)
February 2, 2014: "Helpless"
Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?
I think I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was let from a job that I had at a church working with disabled men & women. I met all expectations of the job, however, they then wanted me to become a commercial van driver to transport clients.
As I suffer from anxiety, this was completely out of the question. I explained time & time again that I would not feel such taking on such task, yet my words fell on deaf ears. I was called in, given an excellent 90 review, but was released to 'for not having the ability to adapt.'
I never felt more helpless in my life. This is a job where it was constant instant gratification and love. I looked forward to going & drug me feet when time to leave. Anxiety is a real, paralyzing condition and for someone to look at me in such a way really hurt.
The only thing I could do was take it to God, accept it and realize that He has a different path for me. Trusting and believe.
Peace & light :-)
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