Monday, November 28, 2011

Mom vs Mom



I have never had the pleasure of being a stay @ home mother. From the very moment my son was born, even though I was married, the entire responsibility fell on me. When I became a single parent, it was full fledge work till you drop.

I had the schedule that millions of single parents all over the world have of rising extra early to get both yourself & your child ready for work/day care; dropping off your child and making it to work on time. Then at the end of the day, you had that schedule in reverse, only once you got home, there was dinner, dishes, laundry, homework, baths, & some type of rushed quality time.

I use to use my vacation days just to stay home. Not go on a trip, not to do anything but be home when my son came home. Or, to take the day running errands while everyone was at work, then pick my son up casually and have dinner ready when he got home. I sacrificed years of vacation trips just to stay home with my child.

And for good Lord's sake, don't let me even start on snow days or school closing days - the mad scramble to hurry & squeeze your child into a morning slot when they're on after school only was like trying to get into the White House, uninvited. Uggghh...

I told a friend this morning, my mother (who was a stay @ home mom) always said this: "if everybody would live within their means, they could be stay at home mothers, but they have to live in this type of house, in this type of place, their child has to have every whim they can dream up & the parents struggle to give it to them, the kids have to attend this type of school, they have to have this type of clothes, the parents have to have this kinda car & that kinda truck – so yes, everybody in the house DOES have to work because they let their wants lead their needs.”

Of course she said this years ago before the world went to hell in said hand basket & employment fell off the face of the earth. And I am supposing this counts for married women and/or men who have each other as back-up, but us single women, there is no staying home, unless you work from home.

But Son & I survived. When after school care costs became too much, I had to teach Son to let himself in the house after school. Then I had to sit @ work for the next 2 hours & wonder exactly WHAT was he doing at home alone? I've come home to empty cookie jars, entire 6-packs of pop being gone, keys broke off in the lock, etc, etc., etc.

Cheers to both types of moms, but if I had a chance, I'd still rather be a stay @ home mom.

5 comments:

  1. I admire you Tracey for doing all of this for you and your son. I am a strange mix of stay@home and work outside type of mom.
    I have a home business for the before and after school hours combined with regular work in between.
    Some days I also wish I was a full fledged stay @home but I know everyone does what he/she can do and it has to be enough :-)

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  2. Bless you, Tracey. Bless you and every other mother who has had to work outside the home to support the family. Motherhood is a job, all by itself, it is a full time job. Working outside the home to bring home the money to support that family in addition to being a mother is a second full time job. It's damn hard to do. I totally understand the vacation thing. I wish that society recognized how valuable mothers are. You've done well, Tracey. I hope you are as proud as you should be.

    Hugs, Sharon

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  3. Hey, Sharon!! Some days I guess I'm proud & other days it's just regular life. We've been in this routine for so long that it just seems like doing what ya gotta do. Speaking of this topic, I took a day off yesterday for a 'mental health' break, & even though Son is now 24 yrs., when he came in from work, he still greeted me with, "MOM!, YOU'RE HERE!!" (Lol!) It'll never get old :-) Thanks, friend.

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  4. I was SAHM for a few years and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. I long for those days!!!

    You know I deeply admire your dedication...and the Mother of the Year award goes to...

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