It's Christmas Eve, 2025.
It's very quiet here @ home, no TV or music.
I got off work, got car headlights replaced, came home, ate something then napped until 7:00 p.m.
It's been a hard December for me even though I wore a brave face. This is year #2 of the passing of James and Dwayne. We used to have epic Christmases that dwindled down to nothing in the last few years. I actually started to dread of the pressure of trying to be festive for James' sake when there really was no joy. And gifts were bought just for the sake of having something under the tree. I think James' last Christmas home, I didn't make any attempt at anything. No decorations; I gave him his gifts in the bags they came in. 😱ðŸ˜
But through 'new eyes' I noticed the pressure everyone puts on themselves like I used to and found sheer relief in not having to do that to myself anymore. Super stressed-out customers at the store obligated to travel, entertain more folks than my house has room for, or shop, etc., even when they didn't/don't want to. The words I've been hearing since Thanksgiving is "I can't wait until all this is over' and that's kind of sad.
First, I try not to wish time away. It's flying fast enough without wishes for it to go faster. Secondly, if you're a Believer, this Season isn't about all that other shit, it's about Christ's birth. But I totally get it because I 'ate pressure' for years while honestly not giving Jesus a thought. I think now with all this alone time, my actions/thoughts/feelings are more 'soft and clear' because I have no one to worry about or deal with but myself. And for that, I am thankful.
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| One of my fave Holiday Rubber stamps |
Our monthly "Ladies Luncheon" was postponed last week. I was looking forward to being with the girls. 😄 It's funny how fast you can decorate/clean your house when you have company coming. Lol. I look around @ my cute touches, mopped floors, dusted shelves, clean bathroom and think 'why don't I let it look like this always?'
On the other hand, I got sad. One of those kinds of sad like when your parents tell you you're going to the amusement park the next day then next day we don't. And that sad is still lingering. I'm owning it and trying to be kind to myself. And this, too, shall pass.
On lighter notes, good stuff:
Whiskey Blues videos are visually beautiful, sexy and all that
All Her Fault was a good one I still think about. The twists were beyond freaky
A Choice of Weapons: Inspired by Gordon Parks; my photography hero. He was just masterpiece, genius, the birth of cool 😎
Merry Christmas and a Happy, Happy, Healthy New Year.
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