Saturday, June 16, 2012

Missed out

I never realized until I got into adulthood that I missed having a daughter/father relationship. My parents divorced when I was young and my step-father, while a great provider, was NOT the "Bill Cosby" type. He wasn't raised in love, so he didn't know how to express love. This was fine & well with me then, because my mama was my mother and father.

I think the first time I realized what I may have missed was not until a few years ago. I watch the President's tenderness with his girls, a co-worker who treats his girls in such a way that I couldn't have imagined at the ages of 6 & 8. He 'dates' them (lunches w/them separately, after any school play, etc., he's off stage w/an arm full of flowers). His reason for being so attuned is that he wants them to know how it is to be treated by a man. In their futures, when they run into a man that doesn't measure up to the worth their daddy taught them, prayerfully, they'll turn away.

When I watched my sister-n-law dance with her father at her & my brother's wedding, she was truly his princess.

Would I have made more careful choices in the men in my life had I a father who 'dated' me? Yes, I am blessed with six men (my brothers) who gave 'big brother' warnings, but it was not the same as hearing from a clear male figure in my life. Getting warnings & threats about boys/men kept me away for sure, but no one ever taught me what to do with my heart from a man's perspective. I fumbled into adulthood full of unsurety about men.

Clearly, I've made it thus far as I am, but not without knocks & bruises. My heart, while tightly guarded under lock & key, appears to still open for the wrong people in the wrong places. It is what it is, but sometimes, just sometimes... I wonder....

Happy Father's day to all fathers who are reading. And if it isn't too late in time, date your daughter so she won't write a post like this one day :-)

Pictures; Internet Courtesy

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you mean on this one. My dad was pretty much out of my day to day life by the time I was 8 years old. He worked odd hours before that and he was never what you would have called cuddly. We didn't develope a good relationship at all until I was grown and he was dying. When I think of how it could have been....

    Sharon

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