"Perhaps I am stronger than I think!" ~ Thomas Merton

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Drifting in the mundane



In this 'dead air' time after the crazy build-up of Christmas and the upcoming New Year's, I fall into heavy day dreams. I think it has to do with cabin fever & it being 9 degrees at night. And now that the weather is calming down (we're expecting a high of FORTY this week - woo. hoo), there really isn't much outdoors to take picture-wise. So on that note, I'm gonna shower you with randoms from the head of Tracey :-):
  • while making cookies this past weekend, i found that I love the color of an egg & a cup of sugar mixed. Such a soft, calm yellow. would be good for my bedroom - esp. when the sun sets
  • getting huge run around about an empty lot behind my garage. the city just tore the house down around thanksgiving & I want to put my dibs on it now. been informed that i would need to file an 'interest purchase' agreement along w/$750. What the hell? Who cares about an empty lot that would draw nothing but trouble? I'm having dreams of this. I'm not even worried; it's all gonna be in my favor:

  • while being present in the now (& washing dishes), the light turned the dishes into art, don't you think? I mean, have you ever looked at your dishes instead of just washing them as fast as possible? You liked them when you picked them out & bought them. Look at them in the right light; they're still pretty :-)


  • this is my favorite "GoodWill" coffee cup. Yep - just $.25; have had it for years. Serves up great coffee & keeps me motivated at the same time (LOL!) The find that keeps on giving


  • I truly vow to finish a word collage i started years ago. And then start another one. old magazines, glue stick & scissors are all that's required.

That's all the day dreams I have for now. 'Scuse me while I let my mind wander down this path & see what happens! :-)





Pictures by: me :-) (except collage)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

See Clearly Now











Pictures by: me :-)
Sunday Scribbling word prompt: "manifesto"

Bring it On

YES!!!




This is on my Goodreads 'to read' list. Sounds excellent.

Also on the Goodreads. Could be interesting...

I love Dori Sanders' books. Maybe this one?

Possible ear candy? I think yes.

Ahhh... my new found love of stamps. Never thought of those...



I'll keep you posted :-)




Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Love Thursday: The real reason




Having Christmas with my autistic son really forced me to realize the 'reason for the season.'

Ever since he was small, the more minimal the gift, the happier he was.

I remember the years when I would go all out, focused only on the latest gadget or superhero.

When I purchased the entire set of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" giant stuffed dolls, he played with "My Buddy" - only;

When I purchased entire bedspread, pillowcases, curtains, & rugs of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", he curled up w/with a soft, old, worn blanket my mother gave him - only;

When I purchased the expensive Radio Flyer Wagon - 'original classic' (yeah, right...), he wanted me to pull him around in the box it came in - only;

When I purchased Dr. Seuss' collector "Cat in the Hat" series, he wanted "Where the Wild Things Are" read to him - only. Again, & again & again...... [infinity]

With his disability, he never turned an interest to the 'video game', so I never had to experience that madness.

Finally, I let go, even though it just 'didn't seem right' that it only took me a short amount of time to shop for him & not get caught up in the hustle/bustle/commercialization that Christmas has become.

Now at age 23, his requests are for clothes only. Not a special brand-name of clothing, but anything as long as it involves his latest sport (basketball) &/or it involves a hood (hoodies) & is made of some type of 'sweat' material. Can it get any easier? Still not being to let go completely (surely he must need something else), I throw little things on the side that I know he likes; Skittles, his favorite funny movies, etc.

Still, giving it one last go, I tried to get him the latest NFL hoodie. Yet, he chooses to wear an old, soft, worn hoodie that simply says, "Go Team."

So... with all the other crap out of the way, it gives me time to remember that there was baby born in a manger on Christmas Day & that the day is truly about gathering with friends & family and spreading love and joy. Thank you, God, for sending me such a perfectly made son who just by existing, teaches me a lesson - every season.




Happy Love Thursday &Merry Christmas to all readers & non-readers. May your holidays be only about those things that really matter!! :-)


Pictures: randomly borrowed, but oh, so perfect. :-)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hope Floats

When you are In Need, and wonder what the Chances Are to make someone Stop In the Name of Love, you move slowly & tenderly, thinking I'll Wither, I'm A Flower.



You want to open up, but when you move forward, you think All I Get is Paper Wings.



But then you wonder what will it take To Get Me To You? To Make You Feel My Love? But When You Love Someone, and you wonder What Makes You Stay?, your heart will tell you 'Honest I Do,' and you will Smile.






The highlighted words are from the soundtrack of the movie, 'Hope Floats', one of my most favorite love stories. I give this post in congratulatory tribute to my sister, Sharon and her 'superman,' Dave, who just got engaged!! They're living proof that we are each the love of someone's life, and if you open your heart for receiving, your blessing will be put inside :-)
Love and Blessings to both of you :-)





roses & heart pictures by: me :-) /heart 'n hands by: random.
Carry On Tuesday archive prompt: "we are each the love of someone's life.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Evolution


Dear Santa, could you please bring me:
  • barbie & her townhouse
  • and her corvette
  • and her clothes
  • and her man
  • and her friends
... I've been good ~ Tracey, 10 years old


Dear Santa, I, so, like, really need:
  • super-tight Jordache jeans
  • the latest boots, jacket and/or coat,
that everyone swears I MUST have or OMG!!
  • two more earrings in each ear
  • my room to be totally purple from ceiling to carpet
... I like so totally gotta have this stuff or I'll like, surely scream, faint & die I mean, for God's sake, everyone at school is so getting their rooms purple please please please santa? ... ~ Tracey, 16 years old

Dear Santa,
  • could you please make sure that every child on earth gets a toy &
  • every family can recover financially &
  • everyone can afford their meds &
  • everyone get good health care &
  • that there will be peace on earth
... It would be so cool if all that could happen. Wishes for love, peace, comfort, joy & blessings ~ Tracey, today :-)





Pictures by: me ;-D
Carry On Tues. word prompt: "dear Santa."


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Random flow...

Dear Santa Baby, I want an IPod, Bali bras (preferably get a professional fitting), a hot stone massage for 2 hours, a facial, yankee candles, a road trip to someplace where I have no responsibilities (pref. for 2 weeks), a mini DVD. But if you can't swing any of this, health, happiness, peace, calm & love will do just fine.



after I whined about driving in winter, I got to work safely, then turned & saw this..


then this while I parked my car. Then I got silent & thankful.



My newfound love, stamps. (thank you Se'Lah :-) Now I cannot get enuff. EVERY piece of correspondence I snail mail will be & has been stamped. I think it shows the recipient that you cared enough to give their card special attention. Agreed?


I got the little basket of books stamp @ the library for $.50. It was must have.


Always turned my nose up @ taking time to specialize notes & cards, but now I live in the 'scrapbook' section. So much little touches to chose from. Swoon.

Finally, this is a rock in my sister's house. I thought it made a cute shot & gave inspiration to boot. :-)








pictures by: me :-}

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sometimes



... you have to be still...


and be present....



and let whatever was meant to be....


simply...



... be


Pictures by: me ;-). Reward after a snowstorm.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Prayers & Perspective, Part II




Was just reading my friend, Cassie's, journal updates from the CaringBridge website. I think I've mentioned before that she is battling cancer. I get her updates directly into my email, so I'm able to keep up with her ups/downs. It really is touching, sad, painful and funny the way she documents what her mind, body and spirit is going through as she travels this journey. It's truly is something that makes me put my day in perspective, every day.

Cassie is very strong in her faith and it's amazing to read her journal entries and watch God work with her to clear her path of her fears, as well as any obstacles that come her way @ this very critical time in her life. She boldly admits when she's pissed, scared, angry & every other emotion that we probably throw around like nothing.

Just a couple of ways that God has stood by her is on the heels of her mother's death, Cassie was going to have to move out of her mother's condo. Really? Now? While the poor woman can barely function mentally and physically? Now? While trying to heal from meds, chemo, radiation & surgery (her bones became so brittle, she had to have titanium rods put into her thigh bones). Really? Also, she appealed to the SSI court to reward her back-pay. As you can imagine, funds are very important right now.

Well..... her latest entries said both things were taken care of! The bank granted her to stay in the condo until March 2011, and the SSI court granted her back-pay all the way from October '09 to now & forward!! Does THAT make you wanna do the happy dance or what? I'm so thankful that I nearly cried. Reading her journals really does make you see how God loves and protect all of us, and will totally take care of anything & everything, if we would just ask Him. Then let Him.

Again, today, my perspectives have been shifted. What the hell reason do I have to have a bug up my butt? Physically, I'm everything right now that Cassie is not and that in itself is a blessing. How dare I even open my mouth or mind to whine and/or bitch when she rejoices just to see another sunrise, no matter how she feels. Listening to what she goes through in one day is enough to put us all to shame if we're not thankful & grateful.

The most comfort I get from reading her journey is her amazing blessings and hearing how her amazing band of supporters (friends, family, doctors) are right there for her, for whatever she needs. Sometimes she sounds so helpless that I wish I could be there with her right where she is to wait on her hand & foot. But for now, I bask in the glow of God holding her hand.

Prayers, everyday, all day to you Cass. Love you.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How can you know me



Matthew 25:35: For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in ...

I look out at you, with sad, lonely tired eyes
but you don't look at me, in fact
you look away

I reach out to you with cold, frozen hands
but you don't reach our for me, in fact
you draw your hands closer to yourself

I open my mouth to ask for help
but you don't hear me, in fact
you turn your head or go in a different direction

My skin crawls with goose bumps from the
wind, snow, rain, the weather
but you don't clothe me, in fact
you look down on me with disgust and
distaste at the meager clothing I wear

My stomach growls & rumbles with hunger
but don't feed me, in fact
you shove your fistful of money deeper into
your pockets

My body grows tired & weary of walking to no destination
but you don't offer me shelter, in fact
you close your door & double-lock it

I venture into public libraries for warmth
even though I'm welcome here, you still
gaze upon me with your revolting stare while
wondering, 'how could he possibly read a book?"

I ask for a little spare change, maybe a
nickle here, a dime there
but you don't give a cent to me, in fact
you shout the word "NO!" with vile disrespect
all the while telling me I'll only spend your
nickel and dime on alcohol or drugs

******

But how could you know me?
when you won't touch me, look at me, talk to me,
help me, comfort me, treat me with respect?
If you sat w/me for only a moment, you would find out:
  • these eyes were once clear, sharp & focused, filled with dreams
  • these hands were once caregivers that saved lives. In fact, I was the doctor that saved your child's life
  • this mouth used to speak words that would hush a room, I used to give top notch speeches when I was the CEO of a company
  • my skin was once covered with clean, fashionable clothing; the best that money could buy. In fact, didn't you sell me my now tattered, grey cashmere sweater?
  • my stomach used to be filled with the healthiest/best of foods. In fact, I remember sitting next to you at the finest restaurant in town

So please, don't judge me, for I am human, too.
I once lead a clean, healthy, happy life, just as you do
If you can do no more for me than to push me away
The least I can ask you to do for me is please, please

pray.

This is my tribute to the homeless folks all across the country, but more-so in places like my tiny portion of the planet where it snows & the temperatures drop brutally low. Each year at this time, my heart aches for what men, women, children & animals go through not having the basic comforts, in particular, two homeless men I'm familiar w/@ one of our local libraries.

I don't do nearly as much as I should to help out, but I do try to help these 2 guys because I'm used to them. I look them straight in the eye & give them my big-toothed smile & command their attention! (LOL!) I speak & treat them as if they were my boss, or any other person, because you know what? They ARE any other person and we are all one step away from being their shoes, especially with times as they are. So never turn your back, look away, or act with any indifference, even if you don't want to help. I do everything in m power to give these guys the dignity they were born with, but lost along the way.


The four steps to helping homeless folks are: volunteer, respect, give & pray. That's not a whole lot to ask, is it :-)

Friday, December 3, 2010

Clockless day




"Respite: relief, esp. from anything distressing or trying; time during which an activity is stopped ..."
... break, breathing spell, free time,

i was inspired to do just this today. i so needed to finally get away from work, even if for a day. this is a pretty cool book. book sale: $.50

I love the parody of the 'little destruction' book. Hilarious. Click to make bigger to read their titles.

Big Lots is thee place to go for unusual tea/spices/'international foods' for super cheap. I like to experiment with everything; teas, salad dressings, baking mixes. Still kicking myself for not getting the 'tortilla soup' mix today. But I did find this vanilla tea. Delish. Inspired me to bake a cake!


dropped in the ReStore and found this sweet inspiration. instant love; had to have.



I wandered into the Mall. 100% sensory overload w/all the Christmas, crowds, stores, etc. I hadn't been there in so long, i felt like i landed on another planet! Everybody was deep into hustle/bustle/shop, shop, shop. It felt like walking in slow motion while the world wizzed past (LOL!)

I found out Bath/Body Works no longer carries Aromatherapy Coriander-Bergamot anything. That was the main reason for the whole trip. Then to Victoria Secret to check on V.S. body lotion/perfume - too much going on in that store. Very crowded w/women & their 'mates' standing around smiling like goofy 12-year old boys...

Finally, I ended up in Claire's Boutique; treated myself to two matching kick ass, big silver rings. It was jammed packed there, too. The tiny (as in maybe 100 lbs.) young sales girl completely freaked me out. She had these humongous eyeballs!! Then once I got home, I remember I read about these things. Who wants gigantic pupils? She looked crazy on so many levels. I tried to control my expression, but I think a little "OMG" leaked out. (LOL!) She really did look like some of these high-tech, animated cartoon characters. Disturbing.

I'm glad I gave myself permission to 'seize & relish' today & turned off the clock for 6 hours of nothing but tracey time. I believe I'll declare a clockless day more often.

pictures by: me :-) the pix of the sunrise are out of my back yard @ 6:00 a.m.